Question : My friends found out that my sneakers weren’t originals and I’m so embarrassed. I’m mad at my mum because she told me that we couldn’t afford the real ones, but everyone else’s parents can and it’s not fair. Also, my mum makes me feel guilty for spending money on clothes, shoes and even restaurants and cafes. How do I tell her that it’s important for me to fit in! Teentalker , 13-year-old
I know you’re torn between understanding your parents’ financial situation and being accepted by your peers.However, you know, even though it feels like you’re trapped and powerless in this situation, there are parts here that you have the power to change.
Here are a few active steps you can take to help yourself:
- Identify one person or friend who can understand your struggle
- Write a letter to your parents expressing how you feel
- Problem-solve: comprise on what you’re comfortable with
- Get a part-time job and earn some extra rupees
Read on to understand how you can do the above.
First you could identify one person from your group who would understand your situation. Sometimes it is enough just knowing that you have one friend who’s got your back.
I would also suggest that, even though it’s difficult to confront your parent you could write a letter or try to talk with both or one of your parents. Explain your side to them – that you’re afraid of being rejected by your peer group and also ask them what they think you should do. Then, work on problem-solving. Maybe you can’t afford original sneakers. And maybe you can’t buy new clothes at the mall or drink a frappuchino every day. But maybe you can buy one new thing every two weeks, and drink a frappuchino every week. Work on compromises you’d be comfortable with that would ease the burden of guilt off both you and your parents.
And if you don’t want to compromise, consider getting a part-time job – maybe you could teach your neighbour’s kids Maths on the weekend, or offer to babysit Sunita Aunty’s five-year-old. That extra pocket money you earn will do wonders for your confidence!
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Expert Teentalk India