Your sex desire doesn’t have to feel out of control. You can cope up with it by growing as a whole person, learning to get your desires met, and remaining in a relationship
How can you manage your sex drive in a healthy manner? Is masturbation the only option? There are many people around us with the same notion. I want to bring some autonomy and let you know that managing your sex desires is absolutely possible. Not to forget that mentioning the drawbacks of masturbation, particularly if you’ve heard masturbation as the only (normal and healthy) option for controlling your sex drive, is essential. The truth is that the more you do it, the more heightened sex drive becomes. Many times, it’s because our sexual desires have less to do with sex and more to do with physical, emotional or spiritual health.
Practice self-awareness: Self-awareness is to know yourself: what you like, what you don’t like, etc. When we face any uncomfortable feeling, we begin to seek our comfort. This comfort may come from healthy relationships, it may come as addictions to food, drugs, T.V. or sex. But we must find permanent solutions to our repetitive issues, be it a lack of closeness, too much stress or anything else.
Learn self-control: Teens want instant gratification. Delaying gratification is not a popular idea like we all want to be thin, but don’t want to exercise. If this has been your pattern, you need to learn to say ‘no’ to ourselves sometimes if we are going to gain the benefits of a healthy life later on.
Distract yourself: To change your thinking, you’ve got to start doing something different. For example, instead of staying in bed, get up, read something, or play a game. In a moment of weakness, you need to rewire your brain and body; don’t give in; find another activity and distract yourself.
Stay aware about your needs: There are elementary relational needs all of us have such as linking, intimacy, being known, etc., and often masturbation can act as a quick fix to us when any these needs go unmet. Like, for females, to feel known and to feel valued; they masturbate. Men may feel the desire to masturbate when they have felt helpless, or disrespected. Having enough healthy emotional association with those around you will help bring your sex drive moderate.
Awareness about your triggers: Being aware of what triggers your sex drive or stimulants is important. What are you watching (movies, TV shows, commercials, etc.) or what are you listening to (music, radio). With sexual stimulants all around us it can be quite easy to be sexually aroused, so just be aware of what you are feeding your body, soul, and spirit.
Think of like this: you can’t have every sweet thing that you see otherwise you will become a diabetic. You can’t have sex every time you are aroused. You’re learning how to manage your sex drive now so later you’ll know how to divert that desire toward one person.