Question : I am feeling a bit lonely because none of my friends get me and soon I am gonna leave my hometown. I also have a friend who I know likes me and he also knows I like him but I got a gut feeling that we don’t wanna jeopardize our friendship. I don’t know what to do.
Thanks for reaching out and sharing your concern.
I can really understand your thought process at the moment. I appreciate that you have come out of your comfort zone to seek assistance. So, at this stage, the question you would want to ask yourself is, “What could be the reason for the same?” Have you thought about why things are happening the way they are, why people behave the way they behave? Sometimes the behaviour, reactions and responses of others act like a mirror reflecting to us how we look to them and what makes them behave the way they do towards us.
Please analyse whether you are a serious person, critical, judgemental, shy, self conscious, feeling inferior, inadequate, too rigid in standards, how is your sense of humour, are you fun loving, are you spontaneous in your expressions, etc. This is the way life is, you can’t change that, what you can change is your response to things by being assertive and forthright, and the views you take of people.
If you had any emotional deprivation or inhibition from your childhood, or any other experiences that may have shaped your beliefs, views and thinking, then you have to revamp your life and restructure your cognitions. To have a friend, you have to be friendly and agreeable, fun to be with type, and have a pleasant presence.
Now when you are moving out of your town, I know it can be really a low moment for you. But there are many people who move out of their nest to achieve something in their lives, right? I hope you will get the chance to revisit your hometown again sometime. When you move into a different town, then try to join some yoga, dance or karate centre just to be with people, interact and implement the changes that you want. Sit down, think calmly, nobody can take away your peace apart from yourself. Make the effort, resolve and get a move on to restructure your life and be happy in the way you are.
As far as your relation with that boy is concerned, career should be your priority now because relationships keep on changing, The friends you have in school days are not your friends in your college days apart from few exceptions, the friends you have in college days will not be your friends in the job days as place changes, circumstances change, preference changes.
To be in a relationship you must feel for that person… if you have such feelings, you can share it with your partner otherwise wait and keep it going to understand him/her more. As human beings, we have this natural need to connect with someone and to form interpersonal relationships. There isn’t always a need to label a relationship and all relationships do not necessarily have to be of a romantic nature.
Remember career making years are a very sensitive time period. The quality of the life which you live for the next 50 years depends on the level of focus you give in these years.
Hope this helps. If you have any other query, do connect online for chat between 11 am – 7 pm or drop us an offline message.