Question : My dad got transferred from Chennai to Ahmedabad and I hate it here. My classmates make fun of my accent and the way I dress. I miss my friends and school, and can’t make new friends here. Should I change the way I dress and my accent to fit in? Teentalker , 13-year-old
That certainly is a challenging situation! I can imagine that you are feeling hurt and alone and aren’t sure how to adapt to your new school.Here are a few active steps you can take to help yourself:
- Laugh along with your bully at yourself; throw them off-guard!
- Maintain your peace
- Connect with a new somebody
- Change focus to what you’re good at
Read on to understand how you can do the above.
First, I don’t think that you should change your style or accent. You are a unique and interesting person in your own right – so hang on to your sense of self-worth and individuality by reminding yourself of that.
Remember that bullies are looking for a reaction, and it is possible that even if you do change these things, the bullying won’t stop. If you want to change your style or accent, ask yourself if you are feeling pressured into it or if you are doing it for yourself. Because – and you know this – you are so much more than an accent and clothes.
Admit the characteristic: reply to the bullies with “you’re right, my accent sounds out of place in this city” or “I agree, I don’t dress the same as you guys”. Try laughing along with the bully.
Ignore the taunts: pretend you haven’t heard what the bully is saying. The lack of a reaction might deter the repeated behavior.
Alternatively, it might be refreshing for you to not focus on the bullies at all. Connect with someone who may not be actively bullying you by saying something nice about them – “Hey, I really like that watch you are wearing,” or something like that. Ask them things you want to know about local ways, as it will help you adjust better.
And lastly, remember that when we are feeling vulnerable and exposed, we take what’s said to us very seriously – perhaps too seriously. Be a little compassionate with yourself and shift your attention to what you’re good at instead. You’ll immediately feel better – trust me! So find what you enjoy or where your skills lie, and get better at it. They’ll begin to respect you for it!
Some questions we think you should think about – despite feeling terribly about being left out and missing Chennai, you still wake up everyday and go to school. What do you think makes you still do that? Can you think of people who support you? In what ways do they help you feel better? And lastly, here at Teen Talk we hold a strong belief that all of us are constantly responding to situations to help ourselves. Can you think of something you have done or said that has helped you feel like you are doing something to deal with the situation?
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat from 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Expert Teentalk India