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Question : I don’t know what to do. I trusted her, but she cheated on me. Now, I want to forget her, but find it difficult to do so. Sometimes, I don’t understand why she did this to me? Why me? Teentalker , 16-year-old

Dear Teentalker,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.

It can hurt a great deal especially when you get to know that the person you loved very deeply (in this case, your girlfriend) has cheated on you.

At such times, an unfortunate natural tendency that comes up is to ask yourself, “But what did I do to deserve this?” and in the process end up feeling terrible about yourself, the situation and in the process, still longing to be with that person, when, in reality, your girlfriend might have had a completely different point of view on the whole situation.

So, even if you are feeling hurt right now, the point is to treat it as a learning lesson and know what to do and most importantly, WHAT NOT TO DO.  So, before getting into any relationship in the future, ask yourself, ” Why do I want to be with this person?” “Is it because I love her, do I want to be committed to her? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with her?” and then you need to make sure, you try to understand if the other person feels the same way. Sometimes, the other person (girlfriend) might even end up saying things to please you or keep you happy, but you also need to make sure that there is a match between her behaviour and what she says. That will give you some idea in terms of where the relationship is heading. 

Most importantly, you also want to make sure that you become aware of your value system (that is what matters the most to you in life) as a match between your and your partner’s values will determine how healthy the relationship truly is.

Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.

Regards,

Expert Teentalk India