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Question : I saw my father chatting on Facebook messenger with a woman called Elizabeth after that my suspicion grew but I ignored it for a few times after that today. I checked his messenger which on my part was absolutely wrong but still I did it and I saw that he had send a message to an other lady that I love you and I saw him sending ‘hi’ messages to quite a few woman with attractive dp. I think that he is cheating on my mother and I have started to look down on him.I don’t want to tell this to my mother because I feel it would spoil her life.Secondly I know my father drinks without telling us.Once I found a wine bottle in his car but didn’t tell my mother. what shall I do to so Teentalker

Dear Teentalker,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.

 I can really understand your agony and frustration. It is obvious in such cases. But remember, there is solution to most of the problems in our life and if you are not getting any solution even after repeated attempts, then probably it s a truth to be accepted.

First, you being a young woman, you need some involvement of  mature family member like your mom, sibling or any close relative. your mom has the right to know this aspect about her husband, I know it will really hurt in beginning  but then atleast she can try to find out a solution as its a delicate issue about her marriage or she can even seek help from someone. 

Secondly, we all have some personal space. Try to respect that but yes of course not at the cost of cheating your loved ones. So its always better to keep someone in loop from your family. Because this is really a sensitive issue and it needs to be handled by mature brains. Its natural for you to get such emotions and reaction for your dad but there can be some issues that he has with your mom that is leading to his casual flings or some emotional, financial or any other issue.

I am not challenging your mom’s character but its just we really need to get to the root cause. Also, as far as his drinking habit is concerned, so it depends like how often he drinks, if even he is having is he behaving in a sober manner, is he responsible as a a father/husband or not, etc.

So there are various angles from which the situations needs to be dealt. 

Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.

Best regards,

Expert Teentalkindia