Question : I am an attention seeker and I have realized this. Now I want to overcome this. Can you help me do that? Teentalker
Dear Teentalker,
Thanks for sharing your concern.
Everyone likes to have some attention paid to them at times. However, you may be someone who feels the need for excessive amounts of attention. If you feel self-conscious about the ways you seek out attention, there are ways you can train yourself to avoid these behaviors.
- .Look for the root of your attention-seeking behaviors – Identifying why you’re seeking attention can help you confront the root cause of your behaviors. For example – Do you feel inadequate? Do you feel alone? Do you feel you are not good enough? Journaling can help you explore your feelings
- Focus on others – When you’re always seeking attention, most of your focus is on yourself. In order to shift this, try focusing on others. There are many ways to do this. You can spend time with people you care about, volunteer, or even spend time learning about others. However, don’t compare yourself to others, as this often leads to inadequacy, which can make you feel bad about yourself. This can make you seek attention even more.
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes – Tell yourself how great it is that you’ve learned something new and can change the way you do things in the future. Say to yourself, “I know I messed up that time, but I was doing my best in the moment. Everyone messes up sometimes. It’s okay, and I’ll try to do things differently next time.”
- Commit to making the change – If you want to change or eliminate your attention-seeking behavior, make a commitment to do so, and to take specific steps toward that goal.
- Write down your commitment. You can put it on a calendar, marking the day you commit to start working on it.
- Write down daily or weekly goals.
- Tell someone else about your commitment. Tell a trusted friend or family member. They can check in on you to see if you’ve followed through on your commitments.
- Spend quality time alone – If you’re an attention seeker, you probably try to spend lots of time with other people. When you’re alone, do things that you enjoy. This will help being alone feel more fun and enticing.
Hope this helps! If you need further clarifications, please feel free to write back or you can chat with the Teentalk Experts from Mondays to Saturdays: 11am-7pm
Regards,
Teentalk Expert