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Question : I am in a relationship since last 5 years and we are getting along well. But my girlfriend often feels jealous about my other female friends. I’ve tried to make her understand that I share a healthy relationship with them, but still she can’t overcome this habit. Please help.

Dear Teentalker,

Thanks for writing to us. I can understand how frustrated and sad you feel at this. But, people who are really in love get jealous over stupid things. Jealousy can be a major relationship problem. People feel jealous because of:

1. Low self esteem

2. Neuroticism which is a general tendency to be moody, anxious, and emotionally unstable

3. Feelings of insecurity and possessiveness

4. Too much dependence on your partner

5. Feelings of inadequacy in your relationship: which is generally fearing that you’re not good enough for your partner

6. An anxious attachment style which means a chronic orientation toward romantic relationships that involves fear that your partner will leave you or won’t love you enough

You should realize that your partner’s jealousy isn’t about you; it’s about them. Respond to expressions of jealousy by reassuring your partner of your love. What you should do when she feels jealous:

1. Avoid situations that are likely to arouse false suspicions.

2. Communicate with your partner. The way you both talk is the key. If you both express anger or sarcasm, or accusations that’s not going to help. You must be direct, but not hostile. Calmly explain each other’s feelings and discuss how to find a solution. 

3. Help her boost self confidence plus self image and try to figure out that if she has some relationship issue within her family/friends.

Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.

Regards,

Expert Teentalk India