Question : My sister, mother and I have been subject to domestic violence by my father for years. He is very controlling and always forces his wishes on us. My sister is a shy and reserved person who has become a robot for him. My father is now getting her married.
Thank you so much for writing to us about your concern. I can gather how much pain and discomfort your family and you have been through. It’s unfair and so overwhelming to cope with.
I want to acknowledge and appreciate your concern for your sister and her well-being. It takes a clot of courage to want to help someone who is hurting. It also requires you to be strong and I am sure you find it in yourself to be her pillar.
It is really unfortunate that you have witnessed constant quarrels and fights among your parents and have been subject to constant abuse from your father, which can certainly be very distressing and extremely frustrating. Fortunately, there are ways to overcome all that you have been going through, no matter how difficult or next to impossible it may seem. To begin with, you need to learn to calm down and relax (easier said than done), but definitely worth a try! You can also start working on ‘Suffered from abuse
The next thing you can do is to make a list of those factors in life which you can control and those factors in life which you cannot control. For additional guidance, I would highly recommend you also reach out to other professionals who might be in a better position to offer you guidance or support related to your situation. You can also try and approach a professional for face to face counselling, if possible and if it is realistic for you. To know more about Psychologists, please visit our yellow pages section, Additionally, you can do to stay motivated and keep going forward in life is to start focusing on your career, regardless of the resistance you face at home. This is a great way to get out of this abusive situation you are in, even if it takes time. Get some insights on career opportunities available for people like you as that will keep you going and give you a lot to look forward to.
I can imagine that you are in a sensitive spoit. While you try to assist your sister, please remember to also take care of yourself. Your support for her at this point could be enough. Caring for her and understanding her hardships is important. Talk to her and see if she would like to refuse the marriage. Sharing the following tools with her could also be a start to a healing process.
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