Dear Teentalker,
Firstly, let me commend you for being such an observant and caring friend. Your concern about your friend’s behavior is understandable.
Here are some active steps you can take:
- Talk to your friend in a safe environment and express that you care. Also be prepared, she might not be as responsive as you expect but be there for her anyway.
- Take her seriously and check on her thought process while she’s talking to you. If it swings more towards the negative, that’s your red flag! E.g., ‘I have nothin.....
Dear Teentalker,
Firstly, let me commend you for being such an observant and caring friend. Your concern about your friend’s behavior is understandable.
Here are some active steps you can take:
- Talk to your friend in a safe environment and express that you care. Also be prepared, she might not be as responsive as you expect but be there for her anyway.
- Take her seriously and check on her thought process while she’s talking to you. If it swings more towards the negative, that’s your red flag! E.g., ‘I have nothing to live for’.
She may be struggling with severe depression.Self destructive or risk taking behavior such as excessive drinking, substance abuse, reckless driving or self-harm can be symptoms of a deeper psychological concern.
To answer your query about, she being suicidal, yes given the circumstances, it’s possible for her to have suicidal thoughts. As a friend you can do the following to provide her support and guidance.
- Try and gauge if there is a pattern to her thought process/Dwelling in the past
- Extreme mood swings or unusual behaviour
- A sense of hopelessness/worthlessness
- frequent meltdowns
- Watch out for suggestive comments like, ‘I’ll be out of the way soon’, ’Life isn’t worth living’. These are indicative that your friend is in deep pain.
When you do plan to talk to your friend, keep in mind that this topic of discussion can get intense so talk in a safe and familiar environment. Gently express your concern and begin by saying, ‘I’ve noticed off late you haven’t been yourself, is something bothering you?’ or ‘how have you been managing with what’s going on?’ or ‘Have you had thoughts of suicide or harming yourself?’
It’s a myth that directly asking someone whether they have had suicidal thoughts will put ideas in their head. In fact asking directly will help your friend see that someone cares and there are other options. You being there and listening to her will allow her to vent and provide the support she’s looking for. Be empathetic and avoid advice giving. If she’s at immediate risk try not to leave her alone and get help at the earliest. Please involve a parent, teacher or school counsellor or a responsible adult or contact the emergency department at your nearest hospital or the crisis helplines.
Your friend may not like you for this but it’s for the best and you can save her life. Keep trying and tell her how therapy would help her cope and learn how to handle stressful situations more effectively and develop healthy coping strategies. Helplines are available and are staffed with trained counsellors.
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India
