Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for sharing this here – so many teens go through these questions of sexual identity and it can take up a lot of their attention and energy while they try to work through it alone. You aren’t alone and we can begin to process some of your feelings together. And before we begin I want to reassure you that everything you’re feeling, and whether you’re attracted to guys or girls, is completely normal and makes you no less of an equal human being. Here are a few additional things to remember:
- Being gay is completely.....
Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for sharing this here – so many teens go through these questions of sexual identity and it can take up a lot of their attention and energy while they try to work through it alone. You aren’t alone and we can begin to process some of your feelings together. And before we begin I want to reassure you that everything you’re feeling, and whether you’re attracted to guys or girls, is completely normal and makes you no less of an equal human being. Here are a few additional things to remember:
- Being gay is completely normal and it’s okay to change your mind and sexuality over time
- Try and find support in a friend, teacher, counselor or family member who won’t judge you or shame you
- Deal with your anxiety through writing, sport, or anything that you find therapeutic
First of all, I think it’s great that you’re taking the time to confront these confusing feelings. You don’t have to rush to label yourself if you aren’t ready for it. The world is not divided into “straight” and “gay/ homosexual” people – there is a scale and we are all on it. For example, some girls who identify with being straight may occasionally be attracted to girls. And some boys who identify with being gay may sometimes be attracted to girls too! As you are discovering, your feelings have evolved over time, and you are realizing that you are attracted to guys and not girls, but you aren’t sure if it’s a phase. It might be a phase, or you may identify strongly with being attracted only to guys. But over the course of your life these strong feelings may waver too – and that’s okay!
Second, what you’re going through is an isolating process by virtue of its private nature – but it doesn’t have to be. I know you’ve said that you can’t talk to your family, and maybe you’re right – maybe they aren’t ready until you’re ready, which could take months and sometimes even years. But could you think of one person in your life who is open and non-judgmental, who you trust with some of your deepest thoughts? It could be a friend, cousin, school counsellor, teacher or family member. Or you could look online for articles shared by teens who have shared their LGBTQ experience stories – having an online support system can be really helpful during this time. Suppressing your feelings and pretending to be someone you’re not can be extremely stressful so of course you’re feeling consumed! It’s a big question about your sexual identity and the fact that being gay isn’t accepted on the whole by our society can make you feel like you as an individual aren’t acceptable or normal – which of course you are! The idea isn’t to erase this anxiety, but to learn to manage it so that it doesn’t interfere with school work and other parts of your life. Writing your feelings and experiences, discussing them with a trusted person, practicing deep breathing when you feel suddenly consumed and either exercising or doing something creative are all helpful ways to express your anxiety.I hope this has helped you feel less alone and has begun to tackle some of your confusing, isolating feelings.
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India
