How do I convince my parents to approve my relationship with my partner?

Question: I have been in a relationship with a girl for the last five years. Now I want to marry her and vice versa. My family is not interested in her and refuses to validate our union because she belongs to a lower class family. Her family is supportive of our marriage. I am shy in nature and can’t talk to my family much about this anymore. What should I do?

Dear Teentalker,

Thank you for writing to us about your concern. It must be very painful to not feel supported by your family in such a sensitive and big decision of your life. It seems that you really want their consent before you marry your partner.

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Dear Teentalker,

Being in love can be a beautiful feeling, but the reality of any relationship for that matter is that it is imperfect. In fact, it is about learning to manage relations despite all the imperfections! ‘Inter class’ marriages are a big thing in India. You can never be sure how exactly your parents may react to it. Some parents are conservative in this area and it is little use worrying about what will happen and how will you manages it. Make yourself strong mentally and emotionally. There will come a time when you will realize that your parents are only doing this because of their own fears and that is nothing to do with you.

Refuse to marry someone else when the time comes. You will need to be patient as it may take time. You will need to recognize emotional blackmail and avoid it from disturbing you. For that you have to focus on your career as well as strengthen your relationship right now. Only when these factors are in place will you be at least eligible to marry, let alone convince your parents. You can also try to be assertive with your parents in the following ways;

"I thought you always wanted to see me happy. Are you sure that i will be happy with the one you choose for me?" " My partner is the only person in my life who i have the chance to choose. Please let me make that choice with your love and blessings" If you truly and genuinely want to pursue this relationship and build a future with her, keep trying. It may be frustrating at times to await their approval but you needn’t give up on your future because of their disapproval.

Hope this is helpful. If you wish to discuss your query further, please chat with us from Monday through Saturday between 11am and 8pm or leave us an offline message.

Regards,

Expert Teentalk india

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