Dear Teentalker,
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand how sad you feel at this.
Your letter hit home with me because I’ve been through an acne problem right from my teens through my 20s! It took me by surprise when it started affecting my self-confidence: I suddenly didn’t want to leave the house, and when I did I used to try to hide behind friends or cover my face with my hair (which of course made the acne worse!). My mother was constantly getting me to try different home remedies – none of which worked for me. Oh, and aunties and uncles const.....
Dear Teentalker,
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand how sad you feel at this.
Your letter hit home with me because I’ve been through an acne problem right from my teens through my 20s! It took me by surprise when it started affecting my self-confidence: I suddenly didn’t want to leave the house, and when I did I used to try to hide behind friends or cover my face with my hair (which of course made the acne worse!). My mother was constantly getting me to try different home remedies – none of which worked for me. Oh, and aunties and uncles constantly gave me unsolicited advice, which made me feel like it was all my fault for not trying harder/ being calmer/ doing “calming” things like yoga and meditation.
Here are a few additional pointers:
- Acne could be due to hormonal changes internally that ends up showing on our face or other areas of the body as one goes through puberty
- Acne can be managed by visiting a skin doctor and managing stress levels
Things improved when I finally went to a dermatologist when I was 18 who put me on strong medicines, which worked wonders but only for 2 years. Then once again my hormones took over and it came raging back! It was in my 20s when I decided that I was done trying to hide it and myself from the world. So I met the dermatologist again who put me on a facewash and ointment routine, which means that my face is not pimple-free, but the painful red pus-filled ones are slightly more under control, and therefore I am less conscious of them.
But it took 10 years of feeling embarrassed, inadequate and hating my looks until I had a few honest conversations with close friends about my acne. And guess what? The answers were things like: we don’t even notice them, who cares about skin, you do your hair so nicely that what does your skin matter, etc. I believed them – it’s not like they had stopped being my friends, I was still being called attractive by random people, and I had a pretty full life. I was pleasantly surprised – clearly I had been judging myself too harshly, more harshly than anyone else has!
I want to leave you to answer a few questions as you introspect. One – have you spoken to someone in your family about how you’re feeling? Sometimes having a short conversation with parents and asking them to be solution-focused by taking you to a good skin doctor is a good way to help yourself. Two – what are the aspects of your physical self that you do like? I know this sounds like a trick question because puberty throws our bodies into uncomfortable territory, but maybe you have bouncy hair, or expressive eyes or strong legs. Try and play up your best features – experiment with clothes, makeup and haircuts. And three – don’t wait for ten years before you seek validation from friends and family about your skin.
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India
