Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.
It seems like you're struggling to be close to your peers and you're not too sure if you really fit in any of the friend circles that exist. You try hard to seek their approval and somewhere along the line, do end up making few friends, but they don't seem real or trustworthy. In fact, these are the people who have shunned you when you needed them the most and that can hurt sooo much, especially when you care a great deal about them! At times, you may wonder, why does this keep happening to me? Is something seriously wrong with me? Well,.....
Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.
It seems like you're struggling to be close to your peers and you're not too sure if you really fit in any of the friend circles that exist. You try hard to seek their approval and somewhere along the line, do end up making few friends, but they don't seem real or trustworthy. In fact, these are the people who have shunned you when you needed them the most and that can hurt sooo much, especially when you care a great deal about them! At times, you may wonder, why does this keep happening to me? Is something seriously wrong with me? Well, the answer to all of these questions lies within you. What really might be happening is that you still haven't figured out yourself completely and somewhere, unknowingly, you keep underestimating yourself and so end up trying hard to be average to please people, when in reality, you were born to be outstanding and become a shining star! A lot of people who have gone on to become celebrities as adults have often struggled to fit in groups during their growing up years.
Many a times, when you find yourself going through such cycles, it's because others have figured out something about you, that you still haven't figured out about yourself or there are aspects to your personality which you and others are yet to figure out about you, but all in all, somewhere, everyone knows that there is so much more to you as a person than what is visible on the outside.
You might also want to take a few moments to be by yourself and figure out what is it that is holding you back from being your true self? Is it all of the reasons mentioned above? Or is it because someone close to you whether it is friends, family have caused you immense pain and so, you're still hurting? When you're feeling sad or hurt, you tend to go through moments of pain and in the process might end up feeling low and unfortunately, having a poor sense of self-worth.
So, here are a few tips, in order to help you get through this phase:
- Get to know yourself better: Figure out your likes and dislikes, your values by working on the tool, 'The Values Worksheet'.
- Believe in yourself and know that what you think of yourself matters a lot more than what others think of you. To figure things out in further detail, please work on the tools 'You are so worth it' and 'Boost your self-esteem'.
- Practicing mindfulness and meditation, will give you the much needed clarity and courage to not only understand where your problem is rooted, but also to move forward in life.
- Travel, whenever you have the opportunity to do so. It will bring out different facets to your personality. In the process, you will learn a lot more about yourself and some of those things could end up surprising you in a very pleasant way. As one of the famous singers Bob Marley rightfully quoted, "You must travel to figure out where you belong."
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India
