Dear Teentalker,
It seems to me that your parents are freaking out over a couple of things – one, that their little baby girl is all grown-up and is beginning to make her own choices, and two, that you went off and did something as painful as piercing your belly button all by yourself!
Here are a few active steps you can take to help yourself:
- Help yourself feel understood by chatting about your choices with your parents – this will ease them into the process of you growing up too!
- Explore your identity – what matters to y.....
Dear Teentalker,
It seems to me that your parents are freaking out over a couple of things – one, that their little baby girl is all grown-up and is beginning to make her own choices, and two, that you went off and did something as painful as piercing your belly button all by yourself!
Here are a few active steps you can take to help yourself:
- Help yourself feel understood by chatting about your choices with your parents – this will ease them into the process of you growing up too!
- Explore your identity – what matters to you and your interests – by looking at your choices and preferences
- Remember that you’ll change over time so keep an open mind!
Read on to understand how you can do the above.
As your parents realize and accept that you’re growing up, you could help make the process easier by talking to them about your decisions or reassuring them when you feel they’re overreacting.
Are you also wondering if it’s ok to want to do the things your friends are doing? Feeling accepted by your classmates and other peers is something most teens look for – so there is nothing wrong per se with wanting to “fit in”. Growing up means making choices that build your identity! And nobody said that’s an easy process or that you have to do all alone!
Fitting in with your peers only becomes a problem if you feel you are compromising on your own values – and if you stop to think about it, you’ll discover that you have subconsciously built up a value system!
Whether you feel its ok to party or focus on studying ; or that you stick to your family’s religious norms more than wanting to go out with friends– whatever it is, those are your current set of values, and those values often reflect your interests (Figure out your values with the Values Worksheet).
So when you feel guilty or ashamed it’s usually because you’re violating the set of values that makes you you. And remember, your values can change over time. At age 12 you valued feeling accepted and fitting in, but maybe at 16 you don’t mind being different.
Some other roads to self-discovery are: spend some time thinking about what you care about; pay attention to your daydreams: write or draw, who you are will surely emerge in your art, and talking to a trusted older friend.
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India
