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I lost my Nani and I feel panicky and depressed.

Question : My Nani died six months ago and I can’t get over it. It was really sudden – she had a cardiac arrest and I was the one who picked up the phone when her neighbor called to tell us. Now whenever the landline rings I start panicking, but mainly I am feeling really depressed and miss my Nani so much. Everything at home is so sad, and I can’t bear to see my mother crying so often. I know I should be the rock since it isn’t my mother after all, but I’m too sad and weak… I don’t know if it is normal to be feeling this way six whole months after. Teentalker , 14-year-old

Dear Teentalker,

Losing a grandparent can be really painful because we can draw a lot of love and support from them, sometimes even without realizing it. It sounds like your Nani’s loss has hit you really hard and the reason you feel stuck getting through it may be because it’s associated with a telephone call. This can serve as a reminder for you and it sounds like your brain is unconsciously associating “phone calls” with “someone close to me has died”. This I know can be really rough.

I hope to help you break this association and.....

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