Dear Teentalker,
Thanks for reaching out.
Difficult people are everywhere, like it or not. It’s pretty certain that at some point in your life, you’ll come across a challenging person and will have to find a way to deal with him or her. In fact, family members are often the hardest to deal with, because they’re connected to us in a more complicated, intimate way. In other words, personal relationships may affect the family as a whole. If you don’t get along with a family member, it may very well put stress and strain on other relationships as well.
Try to keep.....
Dear Teentalker,
Thanks for reaching out.
Difficult people are everywhere, like it or not. It’s pretty certain that at some point in your life, you’ll come across a challenging person and will have to find a way to deal with him or her. In fact, family members are often the hardest to deal with, because they’re connected to us in a more complicated, intimate way. In other words, personal relationships may affect the family as a whole. If you don’t get along with a family member, it may very well put stress and strain on other relationships as well.
Try to keep calm. When you feel yourself starting to get irritated by someone, slow and deepen your breathing significantly. Taking several long, slow exhales can measurably lower your heart rate and blood pressure. The idea is to avoid fight-or-flight response, which can make us aggressive and can make it very hard for us to be skillful in a challenging situation.
Let her be 'right'. But when we let go of our need to be right, we deepen our acceptance of a situation and we garner peace despite differences. Rather than simply listening to a family member for a retaliation, try to listen for the sake of understanding. As a result, he or she may be less defensive or difficult. Instead of interrupting with counter-arguments, try to paraphrase back the points you think a person is making, and acknowledge the emotions he or she seems to be expressing.
Sometimes, it feels like a difficult person’s job is to provoke and incite. Family members know you and know how to push your buttons. For a lot of people, conflict is born from an unfulfilled desire to feel useful and to be a part of something larger than themselves. Never allow any personal interaction or relationship to infringe upon or challenge your own well-being. Visualize your boundaries, that protective territory between you and someone else. No one is entitled to occupy your space unless you invite them in. Try to ignore and avoid confrontation.
Hope this helps! If you need further clarifications, please feel free to write back or you can chat with the Teentalk experts from Mondays to Saturdays : 11am - 7pm
