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What does Consent mean?

Not much has been talked about consent, except for the phrase ‘no means no’. So it’s pretty much clear that you don’t know what it is or what it’s not

Typically consent is considered in the context of some kind of physical activity with a partner. Both the partners should be able to comfortably and openly talk and agree about what kind of activity they want to engage in. It could be mere touching, holding, kissing, intercourse or anything else, it’s essential that both the partners should feel comfortable with whatever is happening.

Consent DOES NOT ONLY mean that only one person has the responsibility to accept or resist an activity. It is also about what someone does NOT want to do, rather than being about telling what they want to do. If consent isn’t given by both the partners, then it is considered as sexual assault.

How does it works

People, especially teens, feel that talking about getting a consent will be either awkward or ruin the moment, however, that’s not so. Note that when both the partners feel safe and can freely talk to each other about what they want, they’d both be more positive. You can consider having these talks when you’re not being physically intimate.

However, if you are caught in the heat if the moment, here are some suggestive things to say:

  • Are you comfortable?
  • Is this okay?
  • Do you want to slow down?
  • Do you want to go any further?

What consent looks like

  • Communicating in every step of the way.
  • Know that when they don’t say “no,” it doesn’t mean “yes.” Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. If your partner stays silent and doesn’t respond or says “May be”, then that’s not a “yes”.
  • Break away from gender rules. Girls are not the only ones who might want to take it slow. Also, it’s not a guy’s job to initiate the action.

These should NOT be considered as signs of consent

  • Presuming that dressing sexy, flirting, accepting a drink etc. is a way of giving consent to anything more.
  • Saying yes or nothing under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  • Saying yes because you feel too pressured or afraid to say no.

Is Consent necessary every time?

Yes! In a healthy relationship, it is vital that you discuss and respect each other’s limits on a regular basis. If your partner has given consent once for any activity it does not mean they are also consenting for the same forever. No matter if it’ the first time or the hundredth, whether you’re committed or not, consent is necessary every time. After all, everyone has a right to their body and to feel comfortable with how they use it.

 

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NEXT STORY


What you need to know about ‘Sexting’

Sexting can prove to be dangerous for those who don't understand its consequences

With the advent of Internet, portable devices and social media, there have been various sexual changes in our culture and society. Exchange of sexual content have become more prevalent in India. One such trend has been of 'Sexting'. However, it is important to know that it is a mistake and can out your life and reputation at stake.

What is ‘Sexting’?

Sexting is to send, receive or forward sexually explicit messages or photos through smartphones, computers, laptops or other digital device. Sexting is popular among teens with approximately 25 to 30 per cent of them admitting to sexting.

How it Happens

You’ve just been hit by the cupid’s arrow and your love interest has shown some interest in you too. You try to be friends with them on Facebook, follow them on Instagram and see their whereabouts on a daily basis. Gradually you start chatting and talking over phone to each other, sometimes even for hours late at night. Since you’re both teens and your hormones are screaming out loud, you both feel strongly sexually attracted to each other and start sending pictures as well. It starts with sending cute, just out of bed, took a haircut, got a shave kind of pictures and slowly leads to where it shouldn’t.

Following are few of the many troubles that comes with sexting:

Embarrassment: At first it will seem like fun and pleasure but it might lead to shameful moments in the future.

Humiliation: If the picture goes viral on social media, it will result in getting a bad reputation in the society, be that a girl or boy.

Out of Control: One of the many disadvantage of social media is that once you hit send, you can't undo your action. Everything sent in cyberspace will never go away permanently.

Retaliation: Your ex might seek revenge and, in turn, might also find ways to seek revenge.

Extortion: The blackmailer may leverage his or her possession of compromising communication and images.

Losing good opportunities: Most companies and universities do a background check before admitting a candidate. What they find online can easily deviate their decision.

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