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Why teens need a 'Dad'

Coming Sunday the 16th is Father’s day. On this occasion let’s remind ourselves of the value and importance that a father has in a teen’s life

Fathers are such an important person in forming the personality and character of their kids. Whether one acknowledges or not, fathers make a huge difference to the type of adult a teenager becomes later in life. In an era when the role of a father in becoming blurred gradually, it becomes crucial to restate why fathers matter a lot.

Here are a few of the many benefits of having a dad.

Enhanced self-esteem & mental health

Many researchers have concluded that teens whose fathers are actively involved in their lives have better self-esteem and are also less prone to get into depression. Furthermore, teenagers with attentive fathers are found to be at a decreased risk of having a negative self-image. On the contrary, teenagers who grew up with inattentive and careless dads are more prone to developing depression and other mental health issues.

Better at relationships

When a teen finds his father as loving and caring towards them and other family members also, he/she is likely to face intense relationship problems later in his adult life. Fathers act as a model of how relationships work and this is imprinted deeply into a young person’s psychology.

Shaping Beliefs

A common observation is that it is usually the father who shapes the worldview and religious beliefs of a teen. Ironically, it is the mothers who are more concerned about a teenager’s religious and overall outlook, but it is the father’s behaviour and views that transfer the essence of certain beliefs and values.

They show boys ‘How to be a Man’

As they say, “link a boy to the right man and he seldom goes wrong.”  To boys, their father’s are the primary example of what it means to be a man. Young boys learn about what it means to be ethical, caring, responsible and appropriate from their fathers. Also, a teenage boy watches his father’s ordeal with other women, how he treats them, uses his physical strength, relates to kids, values his work and maintains his friendships with his friends. These observations then become the default option for teens as they become men.

Girls understand ‘What to expect from a Man’

As another age old saying goes, “girls marry their fathers.” Young girls learn what they should expect from a man, from their fathers. As a girl watches how they are treated by their fathers and how their mothers treat them. This leads to the development of a benchmark of what to look in a man.

Here are some things you might want to try out to strengthen your bond with your dad.

  • Spend time with them regularly
  • Find your common interests
  • Show that you love them
  • Stay connected to them always
  • Ask them questions and ask for their advice

No matter how old you grow, you’ll always be their child. So don’t overburden yourself into thinking that you’re too old to show your love to them. Give it try and thank us later!

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Repairing a broken relationship

No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can survive under an umbrella!

Relationships are among the greatest sources of joy and meaning for many humans, yet also the cause of long-term sadness and regret. When two people come together with different life histories, cultural background, and current pressures, you are bound to clash with each other or get blown away over the course of a long relationship. 

Tips to mend your relationship:

Think 'off' the people: When thinking about relationship issues it’s easy to think in terms of people, specifically who is right or wrong. The therapy mantra is that the solution pattern is more powerful than the people. A good way to do it is to talk about it (the pattern) rather than the people. You have to become the change agent of the relationship which is certainly a good and important start. 

Behave rationally: It is about being responsible with action that is not harming others or misbehaving. It is about being responsible for your problems which means you ultimately need to deal with and fix them rather than expecting others to do it for you. It is understanding that it isn't always about you; so don’t take everything so personally; it is understanding that the other person may be struggling inside in his or her own way. It is about being rational, acting like an adult. 

Focus on the present: When you are stressed in a relationship, it’s easy for your mind to automatically examine through the past, collecting further proof of injustices and mistreatment. It may give you fuel for useless arguments, but will do nothing to solve the issue and will only further drag you down. Drive aside the temptation to go down that history road and fix in on the here and now.

Big picture thinking: Make space in your life to purposely reconnect with the loving feelings you have for your partner/friend or relatives, even if recent communications have made you feel distant or angry. Think about the good qualities the other person has which originally attracted you towards them.

Behavior as a change agent: Behavior is the key to driving change because, unlike emotions and often even thoughts, the behavior is the one feature of ourselves that we can truly regulate. The action gets you out of the emotional mud and is an excellent remedy. So give your partner a hug 5 times a day whether you feel like it or not and see if it doesn’t change the emotional climate in the house.

Be an adult: Worthy decisions come from experience and the latter comes from making bad decisions. Balancing life and relationships is a lengthy process of experimentation and elimination. Try something – with mindfulness and a good heart; see what happens, adjust and try again. Avoid the drama, playing the victim and the manipulation. Think about you, what you can do to fix the issue.

Fix your relationship using empathizing, acting to change, and loving, you are actively reaching for your loved ones and letting them know that they matter and you care. You don't have to do it all at once; instead, see which of these ideas catch your attention. Start small. Focus on you. One transformation will lead to another.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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