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What to do if you cheated?

Cheating is always disturbing, whether you got cheated or it’s the other way round. Let’s admit it, there are people who CHEAT, however, they might regret it later

Cheating is heart-breaking but it doesn’t necessarily means that the person who cheated is bad altogether. So if you have cheated (which we do not recommend however) doesn’t mean you are a bad guy/girl. May be he/she was really understanding of your problems or he/she was seriously attracted towards or you people had a great tuning. There are plenty of potential reason why somebody might cheat and most people are at a complete loss about how to move on in their primary relationship.

Whether to admit that you’ve cheated or keep a secret to yourself is always a dilemma for somebody who has cheated. Here are a few steps which can guide you to come out of this difficult situation.

Fess Up

Admit that you have committed a terrible mistake and be completely honest to allow the possibility to clear the past. Your partner is going to get really mad when hearing about it so brace yourself for some serious anger and drama. After all you have crossed a line and broke a serious promise.

Apologize in the right way

Do not ever apologize over text, whatsapp or call. Also do not confess in a public place in hopes your partner might throw a drama. Sit with him/her in a space where he/she is more comfortable. Once you have confessed let him/her scream, rant, cry etc. Honestly confess your act, do not act up or dramatize or be fake.

Show your willingness to change

You need to show changes in your behaviour and have full transparency—with everything. And to start with, you need to break all contacts with the person you cheated on him/her with. Delete their number in front of your partner and remove them from your social media as well.

Give some time

If she wants you to leave and needs time and space to think things through, give it to her. Don't text, call, or show up at her place every day to excessively apologize and beg for forgiveness. Respect what she needs.

Figure out why you cheated

Figure out yourself whether you're worthy of a second chance or not? Have an internal dialogue to determine why you cheated in the first place. Is this something you've done in every relationship? Are you afraid of commitment?

If it wasn't just a one-off and you self-destruct every solid relationship you have, then consider going to a couple's therapist or a psychotherapist either alone or with your partner.

Once you know why, make sure not to repeat it.

Acknowledge they might take you back

Just because you apologize, doesn't mean you're pardoned from your crappy act. Know that it is possible he/she chooses to walk away.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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How to be friends with your EX?

It’s not easy to remain friends with an ex, but it is not impossible.

Saying goodbye to an ex and their companionship is extremely difficult, that’s why most people like the idea of remaining friends post-breakup too. The idea of giving up movie dates and cute GIF-filled texts seems less difficult when you can still hang out and be a part of each other’s lives. So how do you stay friends with your ex?

Our Teentalkindia expert shares tips on how to build a friendship with your ex that is filled with mutual respect and care with little awkwardness.

Give your break up sometime: It’s really important to give each other space and time to heal and the amount of time apart is completely different for each individual.

Rule out ‘why’:  Are you requiring emotional support, or is it because you just really enjoy your ex’s company? Clarifying your motives behind the friendship will determine whether or not staying friends with your ex is actually a healthy, thing for you to do.

Reach out: If you’ve ruled that your reasons for staying friends are valid, it’s now safe to reach out. If they respond back, tell them how much you’d like to maintain a friendship and ask if they feel the same way.

Don’t fall back into old patterns: Once you’re getting along, it’s super easy to fall back into old ways. Treat him/her respect and communicate only when you need to.

Behave like a friend, not an ex: You might share a romantic history, but now, don’t bring up any old arguments, no sexual flirtation. Enjoy and be grateful for the connection you two share now.

It might be possible he/she get someone new in their life. Then, behave in a sensible and in a gracious manner and support your ex’s attempt in moving on. Take to heart that his or her new relationship is actually a huge sign that your friendship is working. Be the type of friend you would like to have in your life, and your ex is sure to follow by example.

‘Not lovers, not enemies, just friends with memories’

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.