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The psychological trauma of parental divorce

As hard a divorce for parents is, so is for the kids. They undergo numerous emotional changes and not understand it many times.

For Suhani, parental divorce was an overwhelming situation in terms of changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent. But you know, in the past people have often decided to wait until the children are older, thinking that a stable family home is important in the early years. Infact, parental separation or divorce is a common event associated with posttraumatic stress.

Like Suhani, you as a kid are likely to experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief. But some of them, seem to bounce back. They get used to changes in their daily routines and they grow comfortable with their living arrangements. There can be a number of questions in your mind as well like, ‘Where I will go, which school I will go, with whom I have to live?’


Let’s learn about the stressful events associated with Divorce:


Mental Health Problems: You may face issues like adjustment disorders, depression, alienation or anxiety. Children may even feel guilty, blaming themselves for the problems at home. 


Behavior Problems: Some kids display, impulsive behavior, conduct disorder, or child delinquency or indulge in risk taking behavior like substance abuse or early sexual activity, sleep issues, etc.


Negative academic performance: Low grades in academics or frequent school dropout rate.


Because divorce can be such a big change, adjustments in living arrangements should be handled gradually. So here are a few ways to deal with it.


Seek Psychological aid: Try to reach out form some psychological counseling or therapy that helps you to control your emotions and behavior during this tough period. Like learn relaxation techniques, benefit of writing therapy, etc.


Socialize more: This can certainly help you as when meet other people you learn about their experiences or you get the opportunity to vent your emotions and experiences. This diverts your mind and you feel good when interact with new or known people.


Keep patience: Patience is the key during the period of turmoil. Reassure yourself that it’s just the phase and this will pass soon.


Avoid making comparisons: Everyone has their strengths/weaknesses, different conditions/situations; you just need to focus on figuring out what is yours. Remember, the phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side”. So think rationally and don’t get carried away by disturbing thoughts.

 

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If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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NEXT STORY


How to build trust after being cheated

All was going really well with your partner with all smiles and sunshine. But then suddenly one day you found he/she is cheating on you and all hell broke loose. Though this may not be the end of it

Cheating is a synonym to break-up for many. However, there are people who still have feelings for their partner despite being cheated and want to build trust once again. So how do we do that?

Communication is the key

Undoubtedly, healthy communication is crucial in any relationship but it becomes even important after trust has been broken. Talk honestly and openly with your partner and ask him/her to do the same with you. If you start fighting in the process, don’t bring up the past and make sure what you are fighting about now never becomes a topic of fight in the future.

Be on the same page

After an incident of cheating has happened, your relationship won’t remain the same as it was earlier. Acknowledge this fact and focus on building a new relationship together. Also, trust yourself and the decisions you have made. Once you have committed to be with the same person again, do not question yourself whether you did right or wrong. Be firm and confident about your own decision.

Respect privacy

This means you show them that you trust them despite what they did. This means you do not have the right to share or stalk their social media passwords, cell phones or other personal data. Also, avoid checking on the other person constantly and making sure that they are telling the truth.

All of the above mentioned tips don’t guarantee that your partner won’t cheat on you again. You cannot control his/her decisions but you can choose whether to trust your partner again or not. Know that building trust again requires a lot of effort and time from both the partners.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.