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Repairing a broken relationship

No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can survive under an umbrella!

Relationships are among the greatest sources of joy and meaning for many humans, yet also the cause of long-term sadness and regret. When two people come together with different life histories, cultural background, and current pressures, you are bound to clash with each other or get blown away over the course of a long relationship. 

Tips to mend your relationship:

Think 'off' the people: When thinking about relationship issues it’s easy to think in terms of people, specifically who is right or wrong. The therapy mantra is that the solution pattern is more powerful than the people. A good way to do it is to talk about it (the pattern) rather than the people. You have to become the change agent of the relationship which is certainly a good and important start. 

Behave rationally: It is about being responsible with action that is not harming others or misbehaving. It is about being responsible for your problems which means you ultimately need to deal with and fix them rather than expecting others to do it for you. It is understanding that it isn't always about you; so don’t take everything so personally; it is understanding that the other person may be struggling inside in his or her own way. It is about being rational, acting like an adult. 

Focus on the present: When you are stressed in a relationship, it’s easy for your mind to automatically examine through the past, collecting further proof of injustices and mistreatment. It may give you fuel for useless arguments, but will do nothing to solve the issue and will only further drag you down. Drive aside the temptation to go down that history road and fix in on the here and now.

Big picture thinking: Make space in your life to purposely reconnect with the loving feelings you have for your partner/friend or relatives, even if recent communications have made you feel distant or angry. Think about the good qualities the other person has which originally attracted you towards them.

Behavior as a change agent: Behavior is the key to driving change because, unlike emotions and often even thoughts, the behavior is the one feature of ourselves that we can truly regulate. The action gets you out of the emotional mud and is an excellent remedy. So give your partner a hug 5 times a day whether you feel like it or not and see if it doesn’t change the emotional climate in the house.

Be an adult: Worthy decisions come from experience and the latter comes from making bad decisions. Balancing life and relationships is a lengthy process of experimentation and elimination. Try something – with mindfulness and a good heart; see what happens, adjust and try again. Avoid the drama, playing the victim and the manipulation. Think about you, what you can do to fix the issue.

Fix your relationship using empathizing, acting to change, and loving, you are actively reaching for your loved ones and letting them know that they matter and you care. You don't have to do it all at once; instead, see which of these ideas catch your attention. Start small. Focus on you. One transformation will lead to another.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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5 Tips to a Healthy Relationship

Building a strong and reliable relationship takes time and effort. And if it’s a romantic relation then it requires even more care and support from both the partners

'Love at first sight' might be true, but in order to maintain that love for a long time one requires to do some work, actually a lot of work. Love can make the world go round but it won’t last for a long time until both the partners put some efforts into it. Those teens who take dating seriously, the fact that most teenage relationships don’t make it to college might be disheartening. The reason behind this is most teens are not mature enough to handle a real relationship. They often make choices that create unhealthy relationships. There are no such hard and fast rules to building a strong relationship. However, there are few basic guidelines that should always be kept in mind whether you’ve just started dating or have been together for a couple of months.

Be Honest and avoid Communication gap

One of the quickest way to torpedo a relationship is lack of communication. If your partner says or does anything that you don’t get or agree with, let them know. Don’t let it aggravate inside of you. Be calm and ask them to explain their point or behaviour and if you still disagree with them, politely tell them why you differ with them. Use more “I” statements like “I feel this”, “I think that”. Doing so makes it seem less like you’re accusing them.

Respect one another

One cannot be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect him/her. Your partner should never force you into doing something that you feel uncomfortable with and same applies to you also. Also, don’t take them for granted, don’t flirt with others and especially never ask for nudes. That’s a different problem you’ll get into, click here to know more.

Give some space

Have you heard the old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? That’s 100% correct in terms of a romantic relationship. You may feel like hanging out together all the time, but taking a little time apart is healthy for a relationship. Don’t stop going out with your friends and spending time with your family. You definitely cannot be a good partner if you lose your identity to the other person.

Trust each other

Trust is a major factor in maintaining a healthy relationship. Don’t lie to one another and try to be the real version of you. That ways you’ll gain trust of your partner too. Another issue is Drama, that enters relationships any one of the partner “drops hints” or take their problems to their friends instead of each other. A healthy relationship is easier to maintain, and one way of doing that is to lay out all the cards on the table.

Keep social media out of your relationship

As social media persists to consume larger parts of our lives, it’s necessary to keep in mind exactly where it belongs in our lives. As long as you are posting cute pictures of you two(with each other’s consent ofcourse), it’s okay. But when you have problems with each other, sort them out yourself without posting them on social media. Not only will it make you look immature but it also breaks the trust that your partner has in you. Your friends on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter don’t need to know what’s going on in your relationship.

A healthy teen relationship goes far beyond initial attraction and the “spark” in the beginning. It requires intention. It requires two well rounded people coming together and making choices that create a strong relationship.

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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