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Love is a battlefield

Let’s face it, we’ve all grown watching Yashraj romantics where everything is ‘pretty and in love’, and therefore we tend to believe in the same. However, the truth is fights are as real as love in real life

Fights and arguments are an indispensable part of a relationship. And if you're in a romantic relationship long enough, at some point you and your partner are going to fight. Fighting doesn't mean you're with the wrong person, or that your relationship is doomed. Conflict is an inevitable part of any longstanding human relationship, especially ones that involve the most intimate parts of our lives. So here are a few ways that can help you deal with your problems and differences rationally without hurting anyone.

Communication is the key

Do not think if this as talking it out as it involves a more complex and patient process- listening. Listen to what your partner has to say patiently. Keep your disagreements for later when he/she is done. Also remember not to bring out previous fights and differences into this one. New fight, new rules.

Speak softly

When we are in a fit of anger, we often say hurtful things which even we regret later. No matter how furious you are, always take three deep breaths before you start to say anything. This will give you time to evaluate what you are about to speak and whether or not you should say it.

Time-out when needed

If you feel the argument is getting too heated up and neither of you are even close to calming down, take a time off from yourselves. Changing locations for a while will give enough space to understand the conflict and how to resolve them.

Consider the trigger

When a fight gets over, you individually need to sit and think whether you want to get into this again or not. If it’s you who was wrong then make sure to rectify your behaviour and try not to repeat it. If it is your partner who has made a mistake, then try to talk to him/her about this. But this should be done only after the issue is resolved and in a calm and non-demeaning way.

Every relationship, whether romantic or not, has certain ups and down. Everyone fights and nobody is perfect. Understand that your partner is also as human as you and has a separate individuality. Differences are unavoidable, but it is the drama and mess that can be controlled.

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What to do if you cheated?

Cheating is always disturbing, whether you got cheated or it’s the other way round. Let’s admit it, there are people who CHEAT, however, they might regret it later

Cheating is heart-breaking but it doesn’t necessarily means that the person who cheated is bad altogether. So if you have cheated (which we do not recommend however) doesn’t mean you are a bad guy/girl. May be he/she was really understanding of your problems or he/she was seriously attracted towards or you people had a great tuning. There are plenty of potential reason why somebody might cheat and most people are at a complete loss about how to move on in their primary relationship.

Whether to admit that you’ve cheated or keep a secret to yourself is always a dilemma for somebody who has cheated. Here are a few steps which can guide you to come out of this difficult situation.

Fess Up

Admit that you have committed a terrible mistake and be completely honest to allow the possibility to clear the past. Your partner is going to get really mad when hearing about it so brace yourself for some serious anger and drama. After all you have crossed a line and broke a serious promise.

Apologize in the right way

Do not ever apologize over text, whatsapp or call. Also do not confess in a public place in hopes your partner might throw a drama. Sit with him/her in a space where he/she is more comfortable. Once you have confessed let him/her scream, rant, cry etc. Honestly confess your act, do not act up or dramatize or be fake.

Show your willingness to change

You need to show changes in your behaviour and have full transparency—with everything. And to start with, you need to break all contacts with the person you cheated on him/her with. Delete their number in front of your partner and remove them from your social media as well.

Give some time

If she wants you to leave and needs time and space to think things through, give it to her. Don't text, call, or show up at her place every day to excessively apologize and beg for forgiveness. Respect what she needs.

Figure out why you cheated

Figure out yourself whether you're worthy of a second chance or not? Have an internal dialogue to determine why you cheated in the first place. Is this something you've done in every relationship? Are you afraid of commitment?

If it wasn't just a one-off and you self-destruct every solid relationship you have, then consider going to a couple's therapist or a psychotherapist either alone or with your partner.

Once you know why, make sure not to repeat it.

Acknowledge they might take you back

Just because you apologize, doesn't mean you're pardoned from your crappy act. Know that it is possible he/she chooses to walk away.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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