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Keeping your friendships strong

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves” - Edna Buchanon

Friends are an incredibly important part of our lives. Our friends and friendships define us. And that's why a good friendship is indeed something to savor and protect. Yet, like any human relationship, even the closest of friendships can unravel in moments of weakness. How can you avoid a falling out with someone you’ve long trusted and cared about? Here are a few tips:

Choose your friends wisely

Remember that you do not have to be everyone’s friend. Choose to be friends with people who build you up, not tear you down, who welcome you and not alienate and insult you.

Listen closely

Be an attentive listener to what the other person is saying. Let that person know that you not only hear them but understand as well.

Respond carefully

As the wise say, think before you speak – especially when you are angry. Sometimes, taking a moment to think about what you say before you start blurting things out will spare hurt feelings and bruised pride.

Avoid consistent advice or trying to fix all of your friend’s problems

When a friend asks for your advice, give it. However, don’t wiggle your way into every aspect of your friend’s life, telling them how to be the star of their own show. Give them their deserved space.

Be the kind of friend you want others to be for you

You want friends who are honest, kind, compassionate, fair, not judgmental, authentic, and intelligent.  Be that person first and you’ll be more likely to attract that kind of friend into your life.

Apologize when needed

When you do something wrong, admit it.  Learn to apologize. Sometimes a friend is upset, and all they want from you is to (genuinely) say “sorry.”

Keep your promises

If you know you can’t deliver something, don’t promise that you will. If you make a promise, do your best to keep it.

Celebrate what you have in common

Most friendships are started because of some common thread – a favourite sport, a love of books, an appreciation of fine dining, an insufferable boss, etc. Cherish your common interests together and your bond will grow stronger.

Try new things together

What new experiences can you share with your friend? It could be as simple as checking out the new local coffee shop, or as adventurous as bungee jumping.

Keep personal information confidential

When a friend tells you a secret it is because they trust you and believe that you will keep what they told you in the strictest of confidence.  Do not betray your friend by sharing their secrets with others. Many times relationships are ruined over spilled secrets.

More importantly, be authentic, be yourself and be honest. Avoid putting up a fake personality. We all test our relationships by throwing something out there about our true nature. We then hide behind a corner, head peeking out, waiting for the response.  If someone can’t accept you for who you are, developing a relationship with them will be hard. Don’t change yourself by denying your beliefs, values, and point of view, for the sake of fitting in. You won’t be doing anyone any favors.

 

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7 tips for a successful online dating

Dislike being alone? Want a partner? Online dating gives you the possibility of finding one.
Richa DubeyTeentalkindia Content Writer

Online dating is one of the biggest inventions the world has ever seen and it’s really like relationship shopping, as the Amazon or eBay of the dating world. You surf profiles, find someone you like and start a conversation. If fortunate, they will like you back and you can look forward to a new life of love. Also, the amount of choice of potential dates which appear to be available can make the process somewhat daunting.  

  • Profile picture and description: The significance of first impressions is well known, and therefore the way in which you build your dating profile will have an influence on the way in which others initially perceive and judge you. The main thing really is to say something about your own personaltiy or interests, and preferably something you can show about yourself using an example or two. Ask someone you trust to proofread your profile to check that what you have written is a fair and honest picture of your personality and you aren’t coming across like a silly person.
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  • Imagine yourself on a date with each entrant: Check the profile, look at the pictures, and imagine going on a date with this person. Can you think of a few topics to exchange about based on their profile information? If you feel you have nothing similar with your match but are really fascinated to them physically, you could always try messaging with them for a while to see if any commonalities pop up.
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  • Beware of scammers: While most people on dating sites are there for authentic reasons, it’s true that there are scammers, stalkers or creeps. Even the vigilant people can be “played” sometimes, but you’ll improve your probabilities by trusting your instincts and looking for signs like: The profile seems exceptional yet generic and not revealing or they force you to reveal personal information immediately. You do an image search and find their pic. with different names and profiles on other dating sites, etc.
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  • Keep the communication quick and genuine: If an interesting match makes initial contact with you, don’t try to “play it cool” or play “hard to catch.” Instead, respond soon with a message that you’ve checked out their profile and are interested in them. If you wait a few days, they’ll either move on or assume that you’re really not interested. After sending 20 to 30 texts back and forth or interacting for some weeks, you should be ready to make a decision about whether or not you’d like to move forward.
  • Be honest: Say what you mean and girls have this tendency of expecting boys to read between the lines. And yes, it’s natural to be curious about who he or she was dating before you, but these conversations will happen organically in their own time. In short, try to avoid that ex chat when you’re on your first date.
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  • Think alike when it comes to sex: Try to stay on the same page in case of important conversations. If you're going to be hooking up, talk to them about getting tested. "Ask yourself what does sex means to you, whether you're sleeping around, or you're just going to be seeing each other. Be upfront with them.
  • Don’t lose yourself: Try not to make the new person the center of your world. We all have that friend who used to be so much fun, and, then suddenly started dating someone and vanished into their world. Don’t be that person. Similarly, don’t quit your hobbies for your new date. Remember that having hobbies and interests is striking to the person you’re dating.

Online dating is a bit terrifying if you have never done it, but hopefully this guide (covering the basics) is enough to get you started, and providing that you follow using your common sense and gut feeling, you’ll have a great time. Enjoy yourself and stay safe!

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