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How to deal with anger

Everyone gets angry from time to time. While there is nothing wrong in feeling anger, what is important is how to cope with it.

A teenager shares his tale of controlling anger

In Vishal’s case (name changed to protect identity) anger took extreme forms. “If someone annoyed me or didn’t do things like I wanted or if anything didn’t go right I would get pissed,” he says. After a fight with his younger sister, Vishal broke the glass door of his garden. He felt guilt and apologised. Upon regular guidance from his mother, he tried to control his bouts of anger. “I started taking deep breaths and being more accepting. I meditated as a way to improve my focus for studying but it probably made me calmer and less angry,” he says.

Why do you get angry?

Understand that anger is an emotion caused by something that is happening in your life. It can be:

  • Feeling frustrated about how life is going
  • Getting bullied at school
  • Hormonal changes in your body
  • Having to cope with tremendous pressure
  • Feeling hurt because of a break-up

There can be many more reasons for someone to be angry.

What are some of the signs of being angry

  • Increase in your heartbeat
  • Welling up of emotions
  • Sweating
  • Raising your voice
  • Picking arguments

Tips for managing anger, according to our in-house Counselor  Kshitija  Sawant:

  • Take 5 deep breaths and count to 100: Distracting your mind from angry thoughts will help you regain your sense of cool.
  •  Take a walk: The idea is to get up, take a quick walk and come back. A change of place will help you.
  • Talk to someone: Share why you are angry with someone. This can be a friend, cousin, sibling or a trusted adult.
  • Exercise: If you experience anger on a regular basis, letting off steam by getting regular exercise is a good idea.
  • Deal with the trigger: Introspect and understand what makes you angry in the first place. Write down the reasons. The next time you feel the same way, distract your mind.

If you need help, you can email your concern to expert@teentalkindia.com. You can also curb your anger by using this tool under Toolbox - Relationships - Dealing With Anger here: http://www.teentalkindia.com/toolbox/relationships

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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NEXT STORY


Love in the time of dating apps

Technology has changed the dating landscape and redefined relationships...

Technology has revolutionized our lives – our lifestyles and changed human relationships forever; especially the dating landscape. Case in point; dating apps have changed how we find love, how we see relationships and what we choose to make of them.

These apps have managed to turn the human need for companionship into a hunt that triggers a feeling of victory with each right swipe. In fact, we are what the older generations are calling a “swipe generation” and rightly so, after how we have learnt to commoditized people.

Dating apps are convenient, addictive, practical and disposable; they allow you to treat relationships like a use and throw affair without ever having to put any effort, emotions or patience in it.

A 19 year old Business student – Pooja (Name changed to protect identity) – tells her story of love and betrayal.

“I was a young business student who, like many others was struggling to score good marks, be popular in class and have a good social and love life. Caught in these daily struggles, I met a medical student on a dating app.    

Rahul (Name changed to protect identity), a 19 year old medical student seemed like an ideal match. He was very different from the other boys I had dated in school. He seemed responsible, mature and understanding. I was sure I had finally found my Mr. Right. I knew he was the one. We had a lovely two dates before we started seeing each other seriously. We were starting to get intimate by the time we were on our 3rd date, and before I knew it, we had had sex.

I had not met any of his friends or family until now. It was too soon I guess. But I knew his college and his rented apartment so it seemed fine. I am not sure why, may be it was him being a medical student but we never really seemed to worry about the protection either. I knew I was in safe hands with him. Plus, I was an 18 year old adult then, so everything seemed in control.

Until one day – when I found out I was pregnant. I panicked and called him, told him that the home tests were positive and that I had missed my period. He was worried for me, he obviously cared. He said, he had access to a pill at his internship, that would help us get rid of the pregnancy and it did. After using the pill for an abortion the first time, I guess we got more comfortable with each other. Except that I got pregnant again.  

This time I was miserable. I used the pill he gave me again but it messed me up. I had by now developed feelings for Rahul and wanted him to make a serious commitment. I was confused about the abortion too. I really loved him and wanted to make it official. I did tell him so and that was the last time I ever heard from him.

At first I thought we were having a fight which would resolve within a few days. But then he blocked me on social media, he blocked my number and changed his address. I was desperate and worried for him so I went straight to his college. That is when I found out that Rahul was not a student. He was an assistant professor, much older than what he had claimed. He refused to see me, even recognize me and I was left stranded, humiliated. What had I done to deserve this treatment? It has taken me months to recover and find an answer to that question.

I can’t really blame the dating app for what Rahul did to me. I know it was my fault, I was too naïve to trust a stranger. I regret meeting him every day of my life.”

While we like to believe that the key ingredients to a successful, long-term relationship are honesty, commitment and communication. All three of these qualities are hard (if not impossible) to find on apps that allow you to swipe your way into the next love affair (if we may call it that) based on a profile picture!

Make responsible choices. Take care!

If you are a victim of abuse in relationships or know someone who is, you can leave a comment below or get in touch with the counselor at expert@teentalkindia.com

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.