Teentalk

Not every person you meet or date is meant to be with you for a lifetime. Everyone has a purpose in your life. You learn from every person you date. Even if you date someone and realize that you both want different things from life, still you need to know what are the things that you don’t want in your partner.

Break-ups are never easy. There can be a lot of different reasons for break up. You may find out that your preferences, values, ideas and feelings don’t match. Long-distance can be one reason. You may not enjoy being with your partner anymore. You can be more interested in someone else. Or maybe you no longer feel ready to be in a committed relationship.

Even if you are sure about your decision, you feel hurt. The other person will also be hurt, sad and disappointed. If you are the one who wants to end the relationship, then you have to do it very sensitively and respectfully so that there will be no hard feelings in the future between you two.

Break-ups should not be avoided just because it will be a difficult conversation, at the same time, we should not hurry to just get over it. However you have to have a clear mindset about why you want to break up. There is no fixed way of breaking up respectfully but there are some do’s and don’ts that you can follow when you think of breaking up with someone.

Do’s and Don’ts for Break up

Do’s

• Rethink about what you want and why you want. Even if the other person gets hurt, it’s okay to do what’s right for you.
• Think and rehearse what you will say, how you will say and how the other person might react.
• Show your intentions and let the other person know that you care for him/her.
• Try to be kind and gentle but be honest with your feelings.
• Try to talk in person while breaking up. If that’s not possible at least try to video call.If you want, you can discuss this with some trusted person in your life before doing it. But make sure they don’t tell your partner about this.
• Listen to what the other person thinks or wants to say about your decision. Let them put their thoughts about this decision.

Don’ts

• Don’t disrespect.
• Don’t get into any harsh conversation. Think twice before you say anything.
• Don’t avoid this conversation for too long just because you don’t want to hurt the other person.
• Don’t be in a hurry while talking to the person.
• Don’t do it through message or call.

Relationships have a special meaning for every person. So ending a relationship won’t be easy. But at the same time it’s a chance to do your best to protect and respect the other person’s feelings.

How could someone you trusted and loved - and whom you thought loved them back – betray in such a shocking and hurtful way? Not only a sense of anger and upset is there, but also total disbelief. The most frequent reasons of cheating are to do with physical and emotional needs. Such people accept that they weren’t emotionally or physically satisfied in their current relationship or wished to gain extra emotional connection or validation.  On the other hand, least frequent reasons for engaging in some other relations had to do with love—either falling out of love with their partner or falling in love with someone new. Let’s check out why people cheat when they are engaged in relationships:

• To seek revenge: You seek revenge when a relationship is already suffering. The desire to hurt a partner who is (or is perceived as) cheating seems to raise the risks significantly from mere lack of intimacy.
• To try some new experience: Teenagers especially want to try something new, and this desire move beyond curiosity and into some type of contest to measure their sexual ability. People habitually engage in physical activity as a way of satisfying desires and relieving harmful feelings they find hard to control. These feelings can be compulsive.
• Fallen in love with someone else: Teens often falls head over heels for the person with whom they had the affair. Again, emotional closeness plus sexual intimacy seems to be a more important factor that leads partners to stray.
• Emotional validation from someone else: Being valued is a key factor in the emotional connection that partners feel toward each other. Partners may grow apart and, as they do, fail to understand the needs that both have in their relationship.
• Less emotional satisfaction in current relationship:  Seeking physical and emotional intimacy can be a strong reason to have an affair. Sense of disconnection from partner can happen for a variety of reasons. There may be a lack of proper communication or life may be dominated by work, so time together has become more functional rather than loving.
• Personality issues: People who are impulsive may cheat simply as they do not pause to consider the situation, instead act on their immediate thoughts and emotions. Whereas low self-esteem can cause people to be attention seekers—and in some cases; the attention of just one person isn’t enough. It may also cause someone to feel insecure in their relationship, so much so that they might cheat as a way of rejecting rather than being rejected.

Whatever is the case, try to examine the issues together to make sense of things. The person who has cheated need to take responsibility for his/her own behavior as wrong and not to make excuses - although it can be very difficult for the person who has been cheated on. Both partners need to acknowledge their responsibility for what was wrong with the relationship prior to this happening.

The reasons people cheat are many, but there are a number that crop up time and again in the counseling sessions. If you’re struggling to understand why this has happened to you, you may find it useful to connect with our Teentalkindia expert: https://www.teentalkindia.com/email