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If your friend has recently broken up, there is a lot you can do. Research indicates that most people turn to their close friends and family for support. Hence, you can be that “supportive” person for your friend. The best part about helping your friends is that you just have to be yourself. You can help them by being you. Here are some conversation star.....
If your friend has recently broken up, there is a lot you can do. Research indicates that most people turn to their close friends and family for support. Hence, you can be that “supportive” person for your friend. The best part about helping your friends is that you just have to be yourself. You can help them by being you.
Here are some conversation starters:
1. “I’m here if you want to share anything”
Sometimes, a friend’s mere presence is all that matters. Telling your friend that they have someone to talk to will make them feel better. If your friend doesn’t feel like talking, encourage them to write their thoughts so they are not suppressing their emotion.
2. “It’s okay to feel sad”
Getting over a break-up can be a very painful process. Acknowledging your friend’s feeling is the first step towards the healing process. Telling them that grieving is an important part of getting over someone is crucial.
3. “I’m sorry you are going through this, how can I help you”
Keep the communication doorway always open. If your friend needs to vent, he/she will have a safe space to do so without feeling judged.
What you can do:
Small gestures go a long way. “Sometimes just a tight squeeze on the hand or a hug can be enough and conveys, ‘I’m here for you,’ ”says Sheena Kalia, in-house psychotherapist.
Planing an outing
When people feel disappointed and sad, they don’t want to get out of their house. It’s your turn to figure out an activity that your friend likes and suggest it – like watching a movie, going shopping, trekking, cooking, etc.
Staying in touch
Dropping a message or calling them to check on how they are doing will also give them assurance that you are always there for them. “Friends can also keep a watch on any unhealthy patterns that may be developing and have a one on one intervention and express their concerns,” adds Sheena.
Note: If you think your friend is self-harming, you should get support by talking to his/her parents or siblings. If you feel your friend’s condition is paralyzing, offer to accompany him/her to a trained professional to seek support.
Keep in mind:
Here are some things you might want to remember before starting the conversation with your heart-broken friend:
1. Be patient like a mountain
It’s essential to understand that going through a break-up does not really have a timeline as it’s an individual process. So, give your friend as much time as he/she needs.
2. Be non-judgmental
You might have your opinion about the break-up, but listening to your friend without judging is helpful. Also, avoid giving advice.
3. Value trust
Your friend is confiding in you, so it’s important to keep their secrets to yourself. This is not the right time to gossip.
Note to self:
In the entire process of helping your friend, you might feel that your efforts may not be noticed, that is because your friend needs a lot of attention. At this stage, your friend might be flaky, insensitive and irritable. You have to remember that this is a phase and it will pass. If you feel you are giving a lot in the relationship, try to make new friends. Also, remember, that there is only so much you can do, after a point you have to let your friend find their own path.
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