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There is a natural anxiety for doing well in exams. Especially in class 10 and 12 when the results of those exams are going to determine your future and your career. There is bound to be pressure. In such a situation, Dr Maya Kirpalani says that, “telling doesn’t help. In fact when the teenager is told that there is pressure, it gets doubled.”
There is immense responsibility of the parents in such a situation. “Parents and the teenager need to sit and have a supportive dialogue.” Some of the questions that can be asked are:
After opening the floor to a dialogue and gauging response, emphathise with the teenager.
Facing the fear
Oftentimes, when teenagers are not able to fulfil expectations, they tend to self-blame. “This is called a ruminative thought pattern where they keep repeating beliefs such as “I am a failure” to themselves on loop.” The key to breaking this pattern is to inject a new thought-process that says that, “By re-inforcing that you are not a failure and this is a feeling with help,” says Kirpalani. Also not letting them get weighed down by their feelings will help, she adds.
Many things can bother teenagers such as:
Parents attitude matters
Teenagers need to be heard and listened to but sometimes parents are over anxious and expect a lot from their kids. Some points to keep in mind:
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A teenager shares his tale of controlling anger
In Vishal’s case (name changed to protect identity) anger took extreme forms. “If someone annoyed me or didn’t do things like I wanted or if anything didn’t go right I would get pissed,” he says. After a fight with his younger sister, Vishal broke the glass door of his garden. He felt guilt and apologised. Upon regular guidance from his mother, he tried to control his bouts of anger. “I started taking deep breaths and being more accepting. I meditated as a way to improve my focus for studying but it probably made me calmer and less angry,” he says.
Why do you get angry?
Understand that anger is an emotion caused by something that is happening in your life. It can be:
There can be many more reasons for someone to be angry.
What are some of the signs of being angry
Tips for managing anger, according to our in-house Counselor Kshitija Sawant:
If you need help, you can email your concern to expert@teentalkindia.com. You can also curb your anger by using this tool under Toolbox - Relationships - Dealing With Anger here: http://www.teentalkindia.com/toolbox/relationships
If you have a story to share,Click Here
If you have a query,Click Here.
You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.
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