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Don’t you trust me?

Almost every parent and teen dialogue ends with this almost rhetorical question, ‘Don’t you trust me?” Sometimes garnished with tears

Teens and parents often have disagreements. They could be about a study circle with classmates, a few long phone calls with friends or a late night party with BFF. And since many of the reasons are important to teens, they often start to doubt their parents only, which is not healthy for their relationship in the long run. Let’s dig a little deeper into the issue and try to understand it.

Often reported symptoms of parents not trusting you are:

  • Asking too many questions, drilling and digging for information
  • Repeating instructions again and again
  • Almost an interrogation like discussion
  • Sneakily trying to hack into your social media profiles, phones etc.

However, you need to understand that these signs do not indicate that their parents do not trust you, rather there are many underlying reason for it which we teens are not able to see.

Make a role replacement

Look at the world from a parent perspective. In this ever changing world, parents are largely responsible for a child’s safety. With dangers right from speeding cars to untrustworthy humans lurking around every corner, their job is not at all easy.

You both want the same thing

Strangely, however both of you want the same thing: Your wellbeing. You are both trying to make the right moves so your life is better later on. Since you and your parents are both different people, you will approach the situation you unique way and that might cause some clashes.

Communication is the Key

Trust is a process, it takes a lot of time to cultivate. The first step is communicate. Next time, when the situation is not very heated up, open up a conversation with your parents about how it makes you feel, share with them how mistrusted it makes you feel. Plan this conversation well, so it does not start an argument.

Give Time

More importantly, you need to give yourself time, and if by chance, you have flouted it ever, then it is going to take a lot longer and a lot of work to build it again. So have patience, the process might be long, but will be worth it in the end, so keep your eyes on the fruit. An important principle is, be honest and truthful, it may hurt, afterall, “No gain, without pain”.

And when you feel helpless and angered by their inability to trust you, try walking a mile in your parents’ shoes, I can bet those shoes bite!

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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NEXT STORY


Take The Best Friends test

Friends are an essential part of a teen's life. And if you have a best friend then you're really lucky!

"Best Friends Forever", "BFFs","soulmates", these are the most popular hashtags these days among teenagers. It is this time of age when one gets friends for a lifetime.

We all have that one friend who knows what will cheer us up on our bad days, which colour suits us the most, who is our favourite artist, which is our favourite dish and even who irritated us the most. If you believe you have found your true friend, here’s a test for you guys.

1. You already know that your bestie’s crush is not interested in them. However they are already planning on asking out their interest. What would you do?

  • You will remain silent as you don’t want them to get mad at you
  • You’ll explain why they might end up getting hurt

2. When somebody talks trash about your bestie and turn to you for input, what do you do

  • Say you actually like your friend
  • Defend your friend

3. Your friend was not invited to the most awaited party of the year. You would –

  • Ask if they can come with
  • Refuse to go without them

4. With which statement do you agree more regarding Good Friends

  • Hard to find
  • Worth a treasure

5. You and your bestie are just about to leave for a movie and your crush calls to meet you at the restaurant near the movie theatre you were going. You

  • Ask your friend if they are okay if you leave with your crush
  • Tell you crush you already have plans

6. Your bestie and you had a huge fight. You would

  • Wait till you both cool down
  • Sit and talk with each other

7. How often you keep secrets with your bestie

  • Few
  • Nothing

8. You’ve had a long chat with your bestie at your place and you both are now out of anything to talk. You would:

  • Try and speak of something
  • Just chill and enjoy the silence

9. Imagine your bestie is going through a rough patch of life, you would

  • Contact them and ask how are they
  • Drop over at their place with their favourite snacks

RESULT:

If you selected 'first' option the most-

You both are close friends. You guys really click with each other and have been there for major life milestones. Although you are not BFFs to be precise. You need to be more vulnerable in your friendship to make a closer connection.

If you selected 'second' option the most-

You are THE bestie in their life. You are regular in showing how much they mean to you. You have been there with them in all ups and downs and are an honest friend. You’re lucky to have a friend and friendship like that. Cherish it forever!

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.