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Does ambition and friendship go hand in hand? Read Utkarsh’s story to find out!

We make many friends in school, some stay and some leave. But, how do we judge which ones should stay?

He was racing to be the Head Boy of the school. He didn’t care to make friends. He had enough competitors. He had enough of them to keep him going towards his goal. Every morning, upon waking up, he would decide a way to win; to seize the day. Win in school. Win against all the challenges thrown at him. He did succeed, eventually. But, in the process of being the winner, he lost quite a lot deal. The price he paid was: friendship.

Stronger, taller and sharper

Utkarsh was a bright boy, always striving to be the best in everything that he pursued. Be it sports, academics or co-curricular activities. From an early age, he was brought up to think that there is no mountain big enough for him to conquer. No task hard enough for his wise mind to handle. No mortal brave enough to stand in his way. Did over-confidence come in his way, at times. Did he feel superior to his classmates, at times. Did he consider himself to be different from the lot, all the time.

Who’s that girl?

Once, he was selected to represent his school for a prestigious debate competition along with Naina. They started working together and helped each other out. They became good friends along the way. They brought the trophy back home. While both were equally talented and able to hold the prestige of the school, Utkarsh always got the credit for winning the competition. On numerous occasions, he did mention that it was a team effort. But his words got drowned in the multitude of compliments that were showered upon him. It was not his fault, but it was not her fault either. She accepted the reality and moved on. He, on the other hand, became even more entitled.

The event that changed their lives

Their friendship became even stronger. Recognising that their shared effort produced excellent results, the head of the Culture activities at school decided to hand them the responsibility of hosting the Annual Day Celebrations.

They met for an hour every day after school, and brainstormed ideas on how to present the speech. They rehearsed with each other and corrected each other’s mistakes. They got home food and nimbu paani to have at the end of the tiring days. They were ready to shine.

The show begins…

On the day of the event, he wore a black suit and she a white dress, ready to host the evening with grandeur. They pulled it off with perfection. When the audience’s applause reached them, they looked at each other and broke into a satisfying smile. Both looked forward to meeting their parents, friends and parents of other classmates after the event. As soon as they walked into the dinner area, people swarmed around them, congratulating, shaking their hand. But, the general air of appreciation was for Naina. She received compliments for not only being warm and efficient, but also radiant and happy.

This triggered a bout of jealously in Utkarsh. After all, he was the one who taught her how to pronounce certain words correctly, he was the one who corrected the structure of the speech and he was the one who played the part of the other half.

He started distancing himself from her, not responding and reacting. He became distant. Her sight didn’t please him. She tried to ask him the reason for his absurd behaviour; he closed off even further and told her, “he was stressed because of exams.” Naina felt the loss of a friend, but like she did with many things in life, she moved on.

Utkarsh on the other hand, lost another friend.

If you have a story to share with us, send it to edit@teentalkindia.com. If you have a query, email to expert@teentalkindia.com.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

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NEXT STORY


A super simple guide to relationships and their management

Relationships are extremely important and here is some expert help on how to manage them...

We are all blessed with various kinds of relationships in our lives and it is these relationships that make us who we are. Our relationships impact us majorly and if managed well; they can be a source of great support and happiness to our lives. So it is only fair that we put some thought in maintaining them.

Read on as we get Consultant Psychiatrists and Consultant Psychotherapists – Dr. Avinash De Sousa and Teentalk’s very own Kshitija Sawant to tell us all about our relationships and their management...

Student-teacher relationship

In a student-teacher relationship there is always a battle that goes on. There are some teachers who are loving and kind and there are some teachers who do not understand you. Well, the same can be said about student’s as well.

It is therefore important in a student-teacher relationship that  you constantly talk to each other. “Students must reach out to their teachers and vice-versa. It is only when we talk that we will be able to share and probably understand each other’s perspectives. It is important that you understand each other better so you grow academically”, Dr. De Sousa said.

Parent child relationship

When it comes to the parent-child relationship Dr. De Sousa shares his experience; “Many times my teenage clients come and tell me. ‘My parents don’t understand me.’ Well, it’s not that parents don’t understand children it’s just that they think differently.

There is an obvious generation gap. Every time I have got the child and the parent to sit on the same table and speak to each other; we have always managed to reach a level of understanding where both parties have been happy.

It is important therefore, parents and kids talk to each other. Talk about what you like and what you dislike in each other and discuss what can be done to enhance your relationship. He says.”

"You need to put away your gadgets, sit with your parents and talk to them about your life. When you do that, you will realise that you have developed a better understanding of each other and in the process, mutual respect is cultivated", Dr. De Souza says.

Romantic relationship

In a romantic relationship with your special someone, it is important that trust is cultivated. It is also important that you give each other space. You shouldn’t get so attached to one another that the rest of your life means nothing to you.

It is important that you grow while in love and it doesn’t take a toll on the rest of your life. While you are in love, it is important to understand that you are two separate individuals, new in this relationship and that you two will take time to understand each other. Give yourselves time and healthy space; and I am sure your love will blossom into something wonderful and concrete.

Friendships

As we grow older the nature of our friendships change. Some friendships grow deeper; some fall apart while some friendships live on, even when priorities change.  According to our in-house Psychotherapist, Kshitija Sawant, “As we enter our teens, working towards our goals takes priority due to which sometimes we may have to relocate to a new town, city, school or college in order to achieve that goal. This means adapting to new circumstances, being open to new interactions and even making new friends.”

However as we grow, peer pressure starts playing a major role in our friendships. If someone is vulnerable to peer pressure it can ruin friendships. No matter what the nature of your relationship, it is important to stand your own ground.

It is important to remember that you have the right to stand up for what you believe in.. You have the freedom to say no. If you are in a friendship where you are scared to be yourself, then it is an unstable friendship. 

True friends respect each other’s decisions and choices without adding any pressure to change!

If you have any relationship queries, you can reach out to Teentalk. Leave a comment below or get in touch with the counselor at expert@teentalkindia.com

 

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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