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Dating is now ‘trendy’ – Beware!

Being aware of the different Dating trends is important these days as it's crucial to be alert of how people are behaving and what the consequences and intentions might be. There are various new ones out there today.

Dating has become a prevalent phenomenon today which now has its own trends. Yes! You heard it right. There are dating trends out there which are basically a pattern of behaviors which are experienced by people who are in the dating pool. These behaviors certainly have an underlying emotional seed and/or past experiences with other people.

As trendy as these dating patterns sound, unfortunately they can also have unfortunate and negative impact on the people involved. Let’s understand what these new dating trends are.

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  1. Bird Boxing – This is a trend when a person is ‘blindfolded’ to how toxic or unhealthy their partner is. This might seem harmless at first but over time it can emerge into something hurtful and aggravating. The blindfolded partner may be trying to be accepting of h/her partner without realizing that they might be enabling their toxic behavior and causing harm to themselves. The fear of losing a connection or loneliness can be the driving force for bird boxing.

  2. Ghosting – This trend has been the most common among the dating population. One of the partners here abruptly discontinues communication in any form without any kind of closure. They may stop responding to messages, calls, emails and not make any effort to resume communication with the other. This could be due to a decrease in interest, the inability to confront the person and end things or other emotional concerns.

  3. Orbiting – After the person has ghosted someone, they still continue to engage with the other on social media. They may not answer your calls but watch all your Instagram stories and likewise.

  4. Curving – This is a new way of rejecting someone without explicitly telling them that you are no longer interested. They may not respond to your text immediately but remember, they may respond a few day later. This can be rooted in the lack of communication or the inability to do so.

  5. Breadcrumbing – This is basically a new way of stringing someone along. For example, they might text you with no intention of engaging or continuing that conversation further. They only want to keep you around because it helps them boost their egos by knowing that you are interested.

  6. Kittenfishing – This is when a person pretends to be someone completely different on a dating app. For example, they my use an older photo as their profile picture. They may share information about themselves which is otherwise not true at all. They may reflect a lack of d=confidence or may want to confirm to social norms or trends.

  7. Zombieing – Unlike ghosting, this is when the person who ghosted you suddenly returns after some time and communicates again. For example, “Hey! Sorry for the lack of communication. Want to hang out sometime?” This could happen if they realized that they still want to be around you or need validation from another person which otherwise was absent.

We may often think that these are mere trends but they may cause severe emotional concerns for those who are deeply attached to their partners and genuinely care. These kind of dating experiences may also lead to trust, intimacy, relationship, academic, issues aside from other major concerns like unhealthy behaviors such as stalking, use of substances, abstaining from social interactions, anxious thoughts, obsessive thoughts and feelings, low self-esteem, and likewise.

Being cautious of these trends while getting out these is important in order to protect yourself from getting hurt or misled. Additionally, if you are someone who may want to do one of these to another person due to personal or emotional reasons, remember to take a step back, put yourself in their shoes and then make a sound decision. We’re all human being and deserve to be treated with respect and compassion.

 

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Can you be friends with someone much older to you?

With the advent of technology and social media, teens now have a larger circle of friends, few of them are also quite older to them. Is that okay?

A friendship with someone who is much elder to you is not equal friendship. You may both get something out of it, but the older person is always ‘dominant’ on the younger one. This is why such relationships should be handled carefully. 

We need to be clear what we mean by “friend”. Answer these questions if you have an adult friend:

  • Do they encourage me to have lots of other friends?
  • Do I always feel comfortable with this ‘friend’?
  • Does someone I trust think I spend too much time with this person?

If your answers were, yes, yes and no, then this sounds like a healthy relationship, and by most definitions, a friendship.

If not then you really need to think about whether this friendship is beneficial for you or you just wasting yourself. Anyone who prevents you from having other friends is not a proper friend. You need to feel safe and comfortable. If you are in any sort of doubt then talk to someone you trust.

Even a positive friendship with an adult is not good enough to provide the bonds and connections you need as you move towards adulthood. If you really trust this adult, one of the best things this adult could do for you is to help you find ways of making friends with your own age.

Remember that you really only know about one person’s experience: your own. You can guess what other people feel about their friendships, but you can be sure that many people who seem confident and popular also have problems and heartache.

What is important in a friend? Put the following in order of importance:

  • They laugh a lot, usually on the same things as me
  • They would never laugh at me
  • I can trust them with a secret
  • I believe they feel the same way about me as I do about them
  • I feel equal to them in most ways
  • They will help me when I’m feeling down
  • If they have to tell me something I don’t want to hear, they will do it sensitively and kindly.

Not all your friends need to have the same positive features but they should all give you some good feelings most of the time.

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If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

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