Teentalk

Breakups are tough. When you invest so much emotionally in someone and when that bond breaks, it might feel like the end of the world.

It doesn’t matter if the relationship was good, toxic, lasted months or years-- breakups can leave us feeling heartbroken, lost, physically and mentally exhausted. It straight away affects our mind and body.

In this delicate state, we must take care of ourselves. It doesn’t matter if you were the one who initiated the split or the one getting dumped, closure is imperative.

When a relationship ends, it’s normal to feel a sense of loss, as though something is missing from your life. But there are things you can do that may help you feel better.

Identifying and respecting your feelings

The most crucial thing one needs to understand and accept is that there is a grieving period, a sense of abandonment, a sense of terror about the future and disappointment. There are so many emotions involved in a breakup-- anger, sadness, loneliness, feelings of rejection and uncertainty about the future— and it’s essential to confront them head-on. You have a right to feel what you feel, without judgement clouding this.

Do things that you love

Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good. It could be something as simple as sipping a cup of coffee with a friend or something as extravagant as going for a spa day to pamper yourself. Self-care is essential to the healing process, and doing things that make you feel happy not just on the outside but also on the inside can help you heal. It will also help you regain your lost confidence.

Looking through a positive lens

Reminding yourself of all the great things that you have and feel thankful for them can boost your wellbeing and brighten your outlook on life. The loss of love is painful, but the presence of your best friends or family besides you to help you get out of this troubled phase is something truly to be thankful for.

Try doing something for others

One way of healing a broken heart is by mending other hearts. Performing acts of kindness towards others can give a sense of empowerment and it is also an opening to your heart. Whether it is helping another friend in need, or contributing time at an old-age home or orphanage can not just fix your heart but heal your soul too.

Don’t rely on alcohol or drugs

No matter what various TV shows and movies have taught us, alcohol and drug consumption is only harmful for you. It might feel tempting to get off your head on alcohol or drugs but in the end, that’ll just make it worse and you’ll feel even worse when the intoxication wears off. What’s worse, your situation will poorly affect people who love you and care for you.

Not every person you meet or date is meant to be with you for a lifetime. Everyone has a purpose in your life. You learn from every person you date. Even if you date someone and realize that you both want different things from life, still you need to know what are the things that you don’t want in your partner.

Break-ups are never easy. There can be a lot of different reasons for break up. You may find out that your preferences, values, ideas and feelings don’t match. Long-distance can be one reason. You may not enjoy being with your partner anymore. You can be more interested in someone else. Or maybe you no longer feel ready to be in a committed relationship.

Even if you are sure about your decision, you feel hurt. The other person will also be hurt, sad and disappointed. If you are the one who wants to end the relationship, then you have to do it very sensitively and respectfully so that there will be no hard feelings in the future between you two.

Break-ups should not be avoided just because it will be a difficult conversation, at the same time, we should not hurry to just get over it. However you have to have a clear mindset about why you want to break up. There is no fixed way of breaking up respectfully but there are some do’s and don’ts that you can follow when you think of breaking up with someone.

Do’s and Don’ts for Break up

Do’s

• Rethink about what you want and why you want. Even if the other person gets hurt, it’s okay to do what’s right for you.
• Think and rehearse what you will say, how you will say and how the other person might react.
• Show your intentions and let the other person know that you care for him/her.
• Try to be kind and gentle but be honest with your feelings.
• Try to talk in person while breaking up. If that’s not possible at least try to video call.If you want, you can discuss this with some trusted person in your life before doing it. But make sure they don’t tell your partner about this.
• Listen to what the other person thinks or wants to say about your decision. Let them put their thoughts about this decision.

Don’ts

• Don’t disrespect.
• Don’t get into any harsh conversation. Think twice before you say anything.
• Don’t avoid this conversation for too long just because you don’t want to hurt the other person.
• Don’t be in a hurry while talking to the person.
• Don’t do it through message or call.

Relationships have a special meaning for every person. So ending a relationship won’t be easy. But at the same time it’s a chance to do your best to protect and respect the other person’s feelings.