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Can you be friends with someone much older to you?

With the advent of technology and social media, teens now have a larger circle of friends, few of them are also quite older to them. Is that okay?

A friendship with someone who is much elder to you is not equal friendship. You may both get something out of it, but the older person is always ‘dominant’ on the younger one. This is why such relationships should be handled carefully. 

We need to be clear what we mean by “friend”. Answer these questions if you have an adult friend:

  • Do they encourage me to have lots of other friends?
  • Do I always feel comfortable with this ‘friend’?
  • Does someone I trust think I spend too much time with this person?

If your answers were, yes, yes and no, then this sounds like a healthy relationship, and by most definitions, a friendship.

If not then you really need to think about whether this friendship is beneficial for you or you just wasting yourself. Anyone who prevents you from having other friends is not a proper friend. You need to feel safe and comfortable. If you are in any sort of doubt then talk to someone you trust.

Even a positive friendship with an adult is not good enough to provide the bonds and connections you need as you move towards adulthood. If you really trust this adult, one of the best things this adult could do for you is to help you find ways of making friends with your own age.

Remember that you really only know about one person’s experience: your own. You can guess what other people feel about their friendships, but you can be sure that many people who seem confident and popular also have problems and heartache.

What is important in a friend? Put the following in order of importance:

  • They laugh a lot, usually on the same things as me
  • They would never laugh at me
  • I can trust them with a secret
  • I believe they feel the same way about me as I do about them
  • I feel equal to them in most ways
  • They will help me when I’m feeling down
  • If they have to tell me something I don’t want to hear, they will do it sensitively and kindly.

Not all your friends need to have the same positive features but they should all give you some good feelings most of the time.

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Things your sister really wants to hear

Siblings share the same parents, home and childhood. Therefore, share plenty of memories, dreams, and aspirations too.

Our siblings are the first friends we make and first enemies too. In this love-hate kind of relationship, we often forget that like any other relationship, this one also needs much care and attention. Especially sisters, no matter they admit it or not, want their brother to be there with them no matter what and understand them in every situation. If you have a sister, you might be aware of her craziness, her tantrums, her mood swings and all. But above all, you should be aware that she needs you. She wants your love and support.

Here are a few things that she really wants to hear and which you should be expressing to her to make her Rakhi special.

You might not realize it, a good brother can make all the difference in a girl’s life.

“I am valued”

For every brother out there, your sister wants to know that she means a lot to you. If you haven’t told this to her before make sure to express how thankful you are to have her as a sister.

“I am lovely”

You may have told your sister that she isn’t pretty, looks like a pumpkin, has a huge nose, etc. And your relationship isn’t complete if you haven’t done so. However, tell that she is pretty not just physically but she is a really lovely person and she brings beauty in your life.

“I am smart”

Your sister and you may not always be on the same note and may not see things the same way but you should make her realize how much you appreciate her thoughts and values. How you admire her ideas and morals.

“I am protected”

This one doesn’t even need any explanation. it is obvious that every sister wants to feel protected and that you can do all to look after her.

“I am gifted”

Make her feel that she is one talented lady and you admire her strengths. You believe in her and she will do great things in life ahead.

“I am loved”

You guys might be Tom & Jerry all the time but she needs your love too. Tell her that you love her and will continue to do so for the rest of your life.

Tell her that “you love her”.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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