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How to balance your studies and romance

Finding the right balance between studies and love life is not as easy as ABC. Failing which, either one or both of these will have to suffer

Whether you have to finish an assignment or prepare for your exams, you always need some time to spend with your special someone. Here are a few tips on how you can balance your studies and love life effectively.

Create a schedule

First and foremost thing to do is creating a schedule. You already know when your classes are and when you need to study, therefore making a weekly plan is a good idea. Mark the time and days for the same on your phone and follow it strictly. It would be even better if you inform of this plan to your partner and ask them to co-operate with you. Likewise, you can plan your outings or dates on a weekly basis well in advance.

Spend quality time

When you are with your partner, make sure you both have a good time. Enjoy each other’s company and don’t waste your time nagging and fighting about stupid stuff. Don’t worry if pressure of exams or projects has limited your romantic dates for the time being as distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Combined studies

If your partner and you are studying in same class or course, you can study while being with them at the same time. Or you can visit the library together and do your reading there. Doing so, you will get your studies done and also be with each other for a long time.

Don’t procrastinate

When you are assigned a project or assignment, avoid delaying it as it will lead to piling up of more and more work to do. Rather divide it into smaller assignments and finish them off one by one without any delay.

Limit your phone usage

We all know that phones are a huge distraction; therefore, it is better to switch off your phone while studying. Try to control your urge to call the other person every now and then.

Prioritize

It is impossible to separate your studies and partner completely. As there might be times when your partner needs your attention and so does your studies. When such a situation arises, give a listening ear to your partner, offer your emotional support and once he/she is settled down, get back to your studies. Although during exams, the approach should be changed. Inform your partner of your time table in advance and ask them to show their support by not disturbing you during your study time. Remember, these are not hard and fast rules in finding balance between academics and relationships as you can find your own way by having a healthy communication with your partner on the same topic. Whatever your way is, be firm and follow is strictly.

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What to do if your boyfriend makes fun of you in front of his friends

The scars of emotional abuse is not visible to the naked eye. Learn ways to deal with it.

I don’t like the way he talks to me, anymore. Earlier, I did not heed the warning signs. He makes fun of me. I ignored it the first time around, but repeatedly doing so is not right. More so, it is annoying. I know that it might not happen again. I will not put up with this. If I do not make conversation with him, things will die down.

However, it did not bother me much in the beginning when we started dating. He used to make fun but I enjoyed the attention I was getting. Slowly, his taunts and comments started affecting me. My friends told me that I was being very sensitive. “Is it a bad thing to be sensitive?” Without realising what he was doing, I would put myself under tremendous emotional trauma for five years. It was terrible.   

Sadly, I let go of the relationship. Getting over him and healing was a difficult journey. Not only would I give in to the temptation to message him after the break-up, I would still meet him when he made plans. Initially, I thought he might stop treating me like a doormat in front of his friends, but the reality of the situation hit me when we went out for his birthday with his friends. 

Since it was his birthday, I stood up to give a toast. I thought it to be a nice gesture for me to say a few words about him.

“Knowing you for 5 years has made me understand that you are a kind person. You help people in need.”

Unfortunately, instead of thanking me, he replied with “thanks” and started giggling. He ignored me for the rest of the evening and eventually went out to another pub with his friends.

In-house counsellor Kshitija Sawant explains “It’s emotional abuse. Many people associate abuse with injuries that are visible, but in the case of emotional abuse, the scars are not very obvious and might, in fact, be deeper than what they appear to be”

Here are some tips to keep in mind if you face a similar situation:

1. If another person’s behaviour makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself, what about the situation made you feel uneasy? Why did you feel that way? Did you feel disrespected? Did you feel violated emotionally? If the answer to all of the above questions is yes, then you’re probably dealing with emotional abuse.

2. If and whenever, try to talk to your boyfriend in private and let him know about the way he made you feel. You might also want try to understand his perspective before taking a final decision.

3. If the taunts continue to persist, even after addressing your concerns to your partner, then walk away from such a relationship. You deserve a lot better!

4. Go ‘cold turkey’ (that is don’t maintain any contact with the person even as a friend) for at least a year or forever and allow yourself to heal completely, before moving on.

We're here for you. If you are in a similar situation, you can chat with the Teentalk India expert by clicking on the LIVE CHAT option on the Homepage.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

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