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Are you really in love? Find out here

What is love apart from what poets and Bollywood movies describe it as? Is it just liking to be with someone or something more than that? Let’s find it out

As Valentines’ day approaches, many of us start planning on how to make it special with your special someone or some even plan to propose to their love interest on this very day. Among the air of love and heart shaped balloons, one need to actually take a deep breath and figure out whether they really, as in ‘really’, are in love or not?

Like many other feelings, love, is also difficult to describe. Love is one of the most profound emotions. Usually we do not have control over love and maybe that’s how Love at first sight came into being, which is true to certain extent. However, one often gets confused between love and attraction. So how to know when you are in love and when is it just attraction.

Before diving into the ways of how to know it, firstly let’s clear out some myths regarding the same.

  1. They’re always on your mind
  2. You can’t get enough of them
  3. They are your everything
  4. They are your everything
  5. You always want them around
  6. Everything else that has been told in typical Indian movies

As said by Dr. Vinay Mishra in his book ‘Everyday Psychology’, there is a way to find out whether you really are in love or not. Think of the person whom you think you are in love with and then insert that person’s name in each of the statement’s below. If you strongly agree with the resultant statement, give it a 9 and if you absolutely disagree, give it a 1. You can give scores between 1 to 9.

1. I feel that I could confide in _____________ about virtually everything.

2. I would do almost anything for _____________.

3. If I could never be with _____________, I would feel miserable.

4. If I were lonely, my first thoughts would be to see _____________.

5. One of my primary concern is _____________’s welfare.

6. I would forgive _____________ for practically anything.

7. I feel responsible for _____________’s well being.

8. I would greatly enjoy being confided in by _____________.

9. It would be hard for me to get along without _____________.

Once you have answered all the above questions, add up the scores.

Result:

81, i.e. the highest, then you sure are in love.

Above 70 means you have really strong feelings.

Between 60-65 means you are probably in love.

And if you are wondering what if the score is less than 60, think about it, do we even need to mention that?

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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How to be friends with your EX?

It’s not easy to remain friends with an ex, but it is not impossible.

Saying goodbye to an ex and their companionship is extremely difficult, that’s why most people like the idea of remaining friends post-breakup too. The idea of giving up movie dates and cute GIF-filled texts seems less difficult when you can still hang out and be a part of each other’s lives. So how do you stay friends with your ex?

Our Teentalkindia expert shares tips on how to build a friendship with your ex that is filled with mutual respect and care with little awkwardness.

Give your break up sometime: It’s really important to give each other space and time to heal and the amount of time apart is completely different for each individual.

Rule out ‘why’:  Are you requiring emotional support, or is it because you just really enjoy your ex’s company? Clarifying your motives behind the friendship will determine whether or not staying friends with your ex is actually a healthy, thing for you to do.

Reach out: If you’ve ruled that your reasons for staying friends are valid, it’s now safe to reach out. If they respond back, tell them how much you’d like to maintain a friendship and ask if they feel the same way.

Don’t fall back into old patterns: Once you’re getting along, it’s super easy to fall back into old ways. Treat him/her respect and communicate only when you need to.

Behave like a friend, not an ex: You might share a romantic history, but now, don’t bring up any old arguments, no sexual flirtation. Enjoy and be grateful for the connection you two share now.

It might be possible he/she get someone new in their life. Then, behave in a sensible and in a gracious manner and support your ex’s attempt in moving on. Take to heart that his or her new relationship is actually a huge sign that your friendship is working. Be the type of friend you would like to have in your life, and your ex is sure to follow by example.

‘Not lovers, not enemies, just friends with memories’

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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