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A super simple guide to relationships and their management

Relationships are extremely important and here is some expert help on how to manage them...

We are all blessed with various kinds of relationships in our lives and it is these relationships that make us who we are. Our relationships impact us majorly and if managed well; they can be a source of great support and happiness to our lives. So it is only fair that we put some thought in maintaining them.

Read on as we get Consultant Psychiatrists and Consultant Psychotherapists – Dr. Avinash De Sousa and Teentalk’s very own Kshitija Sawant to tell us all about our relationships and their management...

Student-teacher relationship

In a student-teacher relationship there is always a battle that goes on. There are some teachers who are loving and kind and there are some teachers who do not understand you. Well, the same can be said about student’s as well.

It is therefore important in a student-teacher relationship that  you constantly talk to each other. “Students must reach out to their teachers and vice-versa. It is only when we talk that we will be able to share and probably understand each other’s perspectives. It is important that you understand each other better so you grow academically”, Dr. De Sousa said.

Parent child relationship

When it comes to the parent-child relationship Dr. De Sousa shares his experience; “Many times my teenage clients come and tell me. ‘My parents don’t understand me.’ Well, it’s not that parents don’t understand children it’s just that they think differently.

There is an obvious generation gap. Every time I have got the child and the parent to sit on the same table and speak to each other; we have always managed to reach a level of understanding where both parties have been happy.

It is important therefore, parents and kids talk to each other. Talk about what you like and what you dislike in each other and discuss what can be done to enhance your relationship. He says.”

"You need to put away your gadgets, sit with your parents and talk to them about your life. When you do that, you will realise that you have developed a better understanding of each other and in the process, mutual respect is cultivated", Dr. De Souza says.

Romantic relationship

In a romantic relationship with your special someone, it is important that trust is cultivated. It is also important that you give each other space. You shouldn’t get so attached to one another that the rest of your life means nothing to you.

It is important that you grow while in love and it doesn’t take a toll on the rest of your life. While you are in love, it is important to understand that you are two separate individuals, new in this relationship and that you two will take time to understand each other. Give yourselves time and healthy space; and I am sure your love will blossom into something wonderful and concrete.

Friendships

As we grow older the nature of our friendships change. Some friendships grow deeper; some fall apart while some friendships live on, even when priorities change.  According to our in-house Psychotherapist, Kshitija Sawant, “As we enter our teens, working towards our goals takes priority due to which sometimes we may have to relocate to a new town, city, school or college in order to achieve that goal. This means adapting to new circumstances, being open to new interactions and even making new friends.”

However as we grow, peer pressure starts playing a major role in our friendships. If someone is vulnerable to peer pressure it can ruin friendships. No matter what the nature of your relationship, it is important to stand your own ground.

It is important to remember that you have the right to stand up for what you believe in.. You have the freedom to say no. If you are in a friendship where you are scared to be yourself, then it is an unstable friendship. 

True friends respect each other’s decisions and choices without adding any pressure to change!

If you have any relationship queries, you can reach out to Teentalk. Leave a comment below or get in touch with the counselor at [email protected]

 

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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A teenager left home to travel and in the process, healed his trauma

Counselor Radhika Sharma helps us understand how teenagers cope with trauma

Siddhant's earliest memory of his parents fighting was when he was four. Abuses were hurled, hands were raised. He grew up listening and watching them fight. 

In the midst of emotional turbulence, Siddhant would often retreat to his room or spend a major portion of the day at school. He created a fantasy world, and would "zone out" during lectures or family gatherings. He was often labelled as "absent-minded" by his teachers. It would be surprising to know that Siddhant's absent-mindedness was actually a coping skill for self- preservation. 

According to counsellor Radhika Sharma, who works with trauma patients, kids internalise hate through actions and words when they are as young as two and three. She also reveals that when the kid becomes an adolescent, they are not "silent witnesses" anymore. "Teenagers would either take sides or leave the house completely," she says. 

And that is exactly what Siddhant did. Saturated with negativity that was brewing in his immediate surroundings, he chose to walk out to maintain his mental equilibrium at seventeen. Unfortunately, apart from defining an individual's sense of the world, trauma affects both the mind and the body. He went through bouts of migraines, flashbacks and homesickness. When he entered the world of dating, he would find it difficult to interact and trust women. He reveals a time in his life when he felt "voiceless" and incredibly "alone." However, he stumbled upon a travelling opportunity. He instantly connected with the wild forests, seamless sea and rugged terrains. Travelling unearthed a new version of himself, somebody Siddhant was hiding deep underneath his exterior. 

He started meeting people who showed him the other, pleasant side of relationships. And after every adventure, Siddhant would discover something new about himself. Slowly, he has re-gained his sense of control over his emotions and has become emotionally receptive. 

Tips on how to deal with trauma:

1.Accept your feelings: You might feel various emotions ranging from shock and anger to guilt and sorrow. It is absolutely normal to feel these emotions. Give yourself as much time as possible to mourn what it is hurting you. Be patient with yourself.

2.Maintain your routine: While this may be difficult, continue to do the tasks you are doing on a daily basis.

3.Express your feelings: You can write your emotions in a diary or release your pent-up emotions through playing a sport.

4.Reach out to others: In moments of loneliness, reach out to a trusted adult, friend, teacher or a parent.

5.Seek professional help: If you feel you cannot deal with your situation you can reach out to a counsellor.

If you have a query, you can also write to the Teentalk India Expert at [email protected]

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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