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5 ways to up your social cool quotient and make new friends

Five surefire ways to be cool, confident and build healthy social relationships...

As you teens gear up to set foot in the world outside school and start this newest chapter of your lives, you need to equip yourself well with self-confidence, new friends and arm yourself with a cool social quotient!

Well, here are five surefire ways to be cool and confident while you also build healthy social relationships…

Join volunteer programs

Let alone the happiness of helping out and making a difference, volunteering is also a super cool way to meet like-minded people! Joining a volunteer group will not only give you the confidence to take charge and be responsible but will also help you maintain good mental and emotional health.

So go ahead, find something you believe in and fight for it.

Support a cause

Youth’s involvement in community activism is extremely important. It is so important for the young ones of the country to have an opinion on everything that matters and to have the right to express how you feel about it.

So go ahead and be as opinionated as is healthy! Join a community that works to achieve something you believe in and watch it work wonders in your favor. From developing communication skills, to learning to work in teams; you got nothing to lose!

For every candle you will burn and for every march you will participate in will contribute to build a better world that you will be proud to call your own!

“In order to have a fulfilling social life and make meaningful long lasting friendships, it is essential to step out and meet likeminded people. By meeting new people you learn to explore and expand your circle. As human beings we do not live in isolation and do need our social groups as they do form a part of a larger support system. Developing social skills helps us thrive in society, form healthier relationships and interpersonal interaction, valuing people and their ideas and in turn discover ourselves through it all” our in-house psychotherapist Sheena Kalia says!

Be a part of health groups

While you work hard to up your social quotient, to be socially up breast and all that you must also make sure you take good care of your personal and physical health.

Joining a cycling or a running group might just be the right thing to do. While your groupies will keep you inspired to keep at it without giving up, the network of friends you will build along the way will only come in handy.

Pursue what you love

It doesn’t have to be anything, everyone else is doing. Doesn’t have to be the coolest gig in town that everyone is heading to! It could be anything you love; dance, theatre, book clubs, music gigs, concerts.

Just make a point to pursue whatever it is that you enjoy. Pursuing your interest areas or hobbies can have umpteen benefits. It keeps you creatively invested and that can really help you blow of some steam.

Keep yourself aware

While there is no need for you to fit in, you also don’t want to feel like an outcast at any point. This is when social media actually becomes a boon. Social media allows you to be aware, to follow organizations and causes that you believe in and keeps you updated with what’s happening around the globe. It can make you feel connected and a part of something that is larger than yourself.

How amazing is that!

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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5 things the patriarchy taught us that we need to unlearn, yesterday!

Let's do this, let's crush the patriarchy and unlearning them, outdated patriarchal norms...

The other day while unearthing my childhood books, I came across some textbooks and my 4th grade composition book from back in the 90s, both of which came as quite a revelation.

In my notebook I found a piece written – in crooked cursive – titled ‘My Family’. I had written something on the lines of; “My brother is learning how to wear his tie and be a good businessman.” While I seemed pleased with myself for having accomplished some baking expedition I was on, thus validating my prowess as a good girl in the family. The text books on the other hand, had consistent images of moms clad in aprons and the dads in their suits and ties.  

Come to think of it, there was no dearth of patriarchal references in our lives as kids. References that established the set gender roles in our minds – dads as breadwinners and moms as homemakers. And that is just the tip of the ice berg! Patriarchy is so ingrained in our culture that its biases and prejudices make us judge – even attack – anyone who doesn’t fit in our definition of normal.  

We, the young adults therefore need to subvert this patriarchy, for a better and more objective tomorrow. However strong the patriarchal myths and prejudices; we must dismantle patriarchy one norm at a time…

Let’s take time to explore our identities and embrace it

Androgyny may be trending in the fashion circuits these days but the world at large is far from accepting it. Gender identity is an important aspect of our social fabric and while we have come a long way from being completely biased towards the transgender, we still have a long way to go. Trans phobia is real and we need to break away from the patriarchy that forces people to be who they are not.

Most times our social assumptions are so strong; we don’t accept people that are beyond our understanding. If a man or a woman does not confirm to our gender laws, we tend to outcast them. That two people of the same sex can fall in love, is beyond us! A person choosing his/her own gender – different from their allotted one at birth, is not acceptable. Let’s learn to unlearn that. Let’s give and take the freedom to explore who we are – our sexuality and our sexual orientation and be comfortable with it.

Let’s not internalize gender roles

However enlightened and gender neutral our society may seem, the patriarchal norms around gender roles still continue to haunt us. Our culture continues to value masculinity over femininity and the same has been drilled into our psyche. Even our cartoons aren’t sacred of this patriarchal depiction of gender. Remember Dexter’s mom in her apron? Even though women today run the boardrooms with as much prowess as they run homes; men are still associated with power and control while women are associated with emotions and weakness.

Even though most of our moms work, we still grow up with the notion that mom is responsible for home and dads are in charge of the more serious, monetary and life decisions. Don’t believe it? Why then do we still have domestic violence cases being filed? Next on our unlearning list therefore, is how we perceive gender roles. Women and men are equally strong and weak; they deserve equal opportunities and are equally capable in every measure.

Let’s question everything and voice our opinion

Our patriarchy endorses control over oppressed and marginalized groups. Patriarchy affects all genders equally; with its oppressive stance, its sexism, classism, intolerance and more. Our culture has a history of oppressing those without power; be it women, minorities or the under privileged.

“As teens you can do a lot to challenge stereotypes! Make mental notes of what is being said about how girls should dress, how boys shouldn’t cry, how women are projected as trophies and men are projected as players. Now is the age when you can open your eyes and choose to question the status quo with a critical eye” our in-house Therapist Avanti Malhotra tells us.  

For those of us that are lucky enough to have an education, internet and more importantly a voice; we must learn to question any and everything before we blindly accept it as part of the system. Even when we get an answer, we must align it with what is right and wrong and not just agree with what the patriarchy decides is alright. That way, we will have played our part in building a better, rational world.  

Let’s recognize hypocrisy and not be immune to it

First, we are denied proper sex education because it is not the most ‘sanskari’ thing to talk about.  So, we are expected to figure out ‘sex’ on our own. Only after marriage of’ course! Sex education in schools is either inexistent or superficial and no one entertains our sex queries. Porn is officially banned because again, morals and values.

Having said that, we teenagers are sexualized all the time! Both genders face sexual assault in our society, street harassment is so common they won’t even report it if someone masturbated at you. Women of all ages suffer sex abuse and somehow no one seems to see it as a patriarchal issue. This contradictory attitude is incredibly harmful for us. It’s time we stood up against this hypocrisy and learnt to normalize the sex talk. The more we normalize this sex talk, the less provocative it will be.    

Let’s count our blessings but not allow them to dismiss our problems

As teenagers our mental health issues are not an attempt to seek attention. Our problems are just as real as the adult problems. It is important to know it and be able to say it. Our opinions and interests can’t be dismissed as fads. Our opinions count because they will shape the world of tomorrow.   

That said, we must also make sure we don’t exploit the privileges that the patriarchy has awarded us with. We must own up to our privileges and unearned advantages. We must not exploit them. It is important that we don’t tweak patriarchy to suit our personal benefit.    

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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