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5 tips on dealing with friendship break-up

Break up is a part and parcel of every relationship, including friendship

Friends form an indespensable and important part of a teenager's life. Hence friendship breakup is as stressful and hurtful as any other breakup. It takes you on a roller coaster ride of emotions where you feel hurt, angry, confused, disappointed, etc all at the same time. Luckily you can help yourself, and here a few tips for the same.

Hit the Pause Button

Sending an angry Whatsapp message or going to their house uninvited to confront your friend might seem like a very good way to satisfy your anger, but believe it you’ll definitely regret it later. It’s better to take a step back before you do anything.

Give some time to yourself to figure out how you are feeling and what is your next step. Practice mindfulness and take some timeout from screens, this will give you peace and space to breathe.

Put the baggage behind

When you are sure to have to face your ex-friend at some point, you’ll have to find a way to not get awkward all the time. One solution could be talking it out with your ex-friend, calmly finding the reasons why your friendship ended. Try not to get too personal and hurt the other person and it might backfire. This will give you both a chance to have your say in the entire situation and leave all the baggage behind and move on.

Think of the big picture

When we are in a tough spot, we are more prone to get depressed. Try to keep things in perspective by thinking of the reasons behind the breakup. Maybe you don’t have as much in common these days, or maybe you’ve both found new groups of people that you want to spend more of your time with. It’s okay to feel upset about what’s going on, but try to keep the bigger picture in mind and see if there are any positive takeaways.

Get some help

It can help to remind yourself what’s good about friendships - do this by spending some quality time with good, solid friends. Take some time to vent about the dramas, have a good old fashioned cry and tell your peeps how they can get you back to feeling 100% again. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone in real life, you can speak to our experts or hit up our forums - they’re full of awesome, supportive people who’ll get it.

Be kind to yourself

Take the time to be sad or angry or however you need to feel - without getting stuck in the negatives for too long. There are lots of different ways to practice self care, just find the one that works for you.

Above all, remind yourself that you are a good friend and you definitely will be able to make new friends in the future.

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Love is a battlefield

Let’s face it, we’ve all grown watching Yashraj romantics where everything is ‘pretty and in love’, and therefore we tend to believe in the same. However, the truth is fights are as real as love in real life

Fights and arguments are an indispensable part of a relationship. And if you're in a romantic relationship long enough, at some point you and your partner are going to fight. Fighting doesn't mean you're with the wrong person, or that your relationship is doomed. Conflict is an inevitable part of any longstanding human relationship, especially ones that involve the most intimate parts of our lives. So here are a few ways that can help you deal with your problems and differences rationally without hurting anyone.

Communication is the key

Do not think if this as talking it out as it involves a more complex and patient process- listening. Listen to what your partner has to say patiently. Keep your disagreements for later when he/she is done. Also remember not to bring out previous fights and differences into this one. New fight, new rules.

Speak softly

When we are in a fit of anger, we often say hurtful things which even we regret later. No matter how furious you are, always take three deep breaths before you start to say anything. This will give you time to evaluate what you are about to speak and whether or not you should say it.

Time-out when needed

If you feel the argument is getting too heated up and neither of you are even close to calming down, take a time off from yourselves. Changing locations for a while will give enough space to understand the conflict and how to resolve them.

Consider the trigger

When a fight gets over, you individually need to sit and think whether you want to get into this again or not. If it’s you who was wrong then make sure to rectify your behaviour and try not to repeat it. If it is your partner who has made a mistake, then try to talk to him/her about this. But this should be done only after the issue is resolved and in a calm and non-demeaning way.

Every relationship, whether romantic or not, has certain ups and down. Everyone fights and nobody is perfect. Understand that your partner is also as human as you and has a separate individuality. Differences are unavoidable, but it is the drama and mess that can be controlled.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.