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5 reasons why teenagers rebel against their parents and teachers

Being an adolescent is synonymous with being a rebellion. It causes tension between teenagers and parents at home; and teenagers and teachers at school.

According to our in-house Counsellor Kshitija Sawant, “The urge to rebel as a teenager is a normal phenomenon. However, it is equally important to be aware of the consequences of your actions and take your decisions in life accordingly”.

What is rebellion?

In simple terms, being a rebel means demonstrating behavior that purposely opposes rules and authority.

Your parents have asked you to be back by 8 pm in the evening, but no, you will deliberately reach home at 12 pm.

Your teacher has asked you to finish a Physics assignment, but no, you will not become the good boy of the class and submit it later.

In both scenarios, coming back at 8 pm and finishing the assignment would have eventually helped you in the long run.

According to an article in Psychology Today, psychologist Carl Pickhardt says that “Although the young person thinks rebellion is an act of independence, it actually never is. It is really an act of dependency. Rebellion causes the young person to depend on self-definition and personal conduct on doing the opposite of what other people want.”

Rebellion can take two forms:

  1. The rebellion of non-conformity:  When you choose to cut your hair differently from the rest of your friends.
  2. The rebellion of non-compliance: When you choose to become an artist instead of an engineer.

5 stages of being a rebel

1. Does not want to be treated as a child anymore (9-12): The young person has realized what he/she does not want to be. Making fun of teachers? In your group of friends, it will pass off as cool. But when you need your teacher’s help with college applications, calling teachers old-fashioned was a mistake!

   
2. Break rules imposed by society (13-15): Is it a war zone at home? I’ll not do the homework. I’ll not come on time. I’ll not attend tuitions. I’ll not do anything parents ask me to do. This is the period when opposing authority is the norm among friends. But remember, not all friends stick around. But parents will, all the time.

3.  Liberation from childhood dependency (16-18): The will to be free, the excitement for carving out a life you want to lead and the thrill of achieving your dreams. At this stage of your life, the world is at your feet. Pay heed to your parents, they have your best interests at heart.

4. Dethroning parental authority (19-23): This is the stage when you have completed your college and have a job. All the things you fought for have been realized. The last stage is to conquer what you set out to do.

5. Acceptance: The last stage is a place where the young person realizes that he/she has to function within societal norms. Acceptance is the beginning of adulthood.

If you want to reach out to the Teentalk India counselor, email at [email protected]. You can also read more about it in the Relationships tab.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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10 unique and inventive ways to say NO to your friends

Have you been in a situation because your friends have forced you to be in? If yes, here is a list of cool and fun ways to turn down their offer of bunking class or drinking more than you can handle.

“Hey, wanna smoke?” or “Aree, have another beer. Be a man!”  sound familiar right? Do you find it difficult to say no to your friends? Chill! You are not the only one! Here are some fun and cool ways to say NO without sounding mean or rude…

1.Play the geek card
When your gang of friends want to bunk class, but you really want to know the equations of Algebra!

2. Be a journalist!                                                                                                                                  
When your friends light a cigarette and offer you one, you can start asking them questions such as, “Why do you smoke?”, “Are you okay with your breath smelling like dead fish?” and more.

3.What are your parents for?
Sometimes, “My mom will not like if I make out with my BF at this age,” or “My father is going to kill me if I get that sort of a haircut,” work as wonderful excuses.

4.Buddy system
Make a pact with a friend who shares the same value system as you. For example, if you are a vegetarian and all your friends insist you try chicken, both you and your friend can support each other.

5. Say NO like you mean it!
Just say no with a straight face with intense eyes and a killer expression. In a situation where your friends are asking you to break into the teacher’s room and secretly steal the question paper, you have to be assertive, and just say NO.

6. Sing a NO
Not interested? Sing a no! For example, some of your friends are going for a movie and the others have invited you for a cricket game, turn down one group’s request by casually singing a song.

7. Back up the no with a positive statement
 If they offer you to smoke weed, tell your friends, “I like my brain the way it is, I have no intention to destroy more cells.”

8 .Quote a popular celebrity
 Group study Vs solo study? Here’s the answer!


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9. I am unique!

Situation: Your friends want you to have the same hairstyle as their’s.
Plonk your chin up in the air and tell them you are unique and unique people make trends, not follow them.

10. Invent other plans
Be a little imaginative and come up with alternative plans with your cousins or an imaginary friend. If you are good at dramatics, this is the time to turn on the drama!

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.