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5 ways to recover quickly from life’s hardships

According to research, resilience leads to greater happiness, more success and better health. Here is how you can cultivate it!

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. – C.S. Lewis

This quote by Lewis, who is a British poet and author, suggests that hardships can be difficult in the short-term, but it does have significant results in the long-term. When someone endures hardship, they have the capacity to bounce back sooner or later. However, how soon an individual returns back to their normal life is determined by how resilient that individual is.

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from hardships. The good news is that resilience can be cultivated. It might take time and effort, but it is one of those tools that if you cultivate, you can benefit from it for a lifetime.

Hardship can be failing in an exam, losing a loved one, changing schools or countries, recovering from an illness, and many more. According to research, resilience leads to greater happiness, more success and better health.

Here are some ways to build resilience:

1.Learn from failure: Treat every failure as a stepping stone to success. It took Thomas Edison ten thousand failed attempts to finally get the physics of the light bulb right. Edison once remarked, “I failed my way to success.” According to Teentalk Expert Kshitija Sawant, “the ability to look at the bigger picture, stay focused and not give up, enables one to look past failures and move on.”

2.Focus on your strengths: Writer Tal Ben-Shahar who teaches positive psychology writes in his book ‘Choose The Life You Want’ that individuals who invest in their strengths are happier and more successful. Some questions to ask yourself are:

  • What are my strengths?
  • What am I naturally good at?
  • Where do my talents reside?
  • What are my unique abilities?

3.Self-compassion is key: If your friend failed in an exam, would you call him a failure or offer support? In most cases, you would offer support. Hence, this attitude should be applied to ourselves as well. If we make mistakes or do not meet our expectations, instead of criticising ourselves, maybe we can learn to be compassionate?

4.Humour: Do not take yourself too seriously. In moments of doubt and sadness, inject humour. Do not feel bad to laugh or smile. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Watch your favourite TV show or follow the stand-up comedian who cracks you up.

5.Focus on successes: Sometimes, we tend to focus on past failures more as compared to past accomplishments. This creates a distorted view of reality. Pat yourself on the back when you do a small thing right. Remember your achievements and moments when you succeeded.

Lastly, resilient people realize that they have the power to shape their own lives, writes Sheryl Sandberg in her book Option B.

If you have a query, you can write to the Teentalk India Expert at expert@teentalkindia.com

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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5 Misfits who rose against all odds to become Superheroes

The Black Sheep, the outcasts and the misfits who turned their sufferings into their super powers...

Superheroes! Aren’t they just the most amazing figures? Let’s face it, everyone has a favourite, but have you ever wondered where these Superheroes get their super powers from?

We think, the reason they choose a life of fighting the bad guys is deep routed within their psyche. Our Superheroes have this one thing in common – they were all the black sheep the outcasts who were once regarded as failures. The Superheroes of today were once the misfits; with emotional issues and problems. Only, they chose to turn their weaknesses, negativity and problems into their super powers!  

Read on as we look at 5 Superheroes who taught us how to turn the evils of life into our strengths...

Batman – Bruce Wayne

Our favourite rich guy, Bruce Wayne AKA Batman was grief struck after the loss of his parents while he was still a young kid.

But Batman managed to deal with the loss of his parents exceptionally well, finding meaning in their death and not sinking in the negativity. He managed to use all his grief, pain and wealth for the betterment of Gotham.

Counsellor tip – “Even if you’ve experienced grief and loss, it is possible to move on if you allow yourself some healing time and most importantly, if you discover the true purpose of your life and follow through.”

Superman – Clark Kent

Superman’s story is one of the most heartening tales that we have heard from the land of superheroes.

Born on planet Krypton, Superman had to leave his family and his home planet and relocate to Earth. He had to fit into a new world and find his way without any family roots to fall back on.

Even though Superman could never really fit in because of his super powers and suffered from the Part of Two Worlds Syndrome; he learnt to deal with it by choosing to use them for the betterment of his new home.

Counsellor tip – “ There is no such thing as a perfectly happy life. When we learn to make the most of what we have, we can learn to live well, despite the differences.”

Spider-Man - Peter Parker

Having suffered the loss of his parents as a kid, Parker did deal with a sense of loss but his real problem was being bullied.   

As a science loving nerd and an amateur photographer, Peter was majorly bullied. This is what we believe laid the foundation of his strong morals.

Even after being bitten by the radioactive spider and acquiring those powers, Parker is responsible enough to use them only against the bullies and the supervillains.

Counsellor tip – “It is important to realize that the person bullying others was a victim at some point, who did not find a healthy coping mechanism to address their issues. So learn to forgive the perpetrator and view life from a positive but realistic lens, that should simplify everything.”

Wolverine –

Born with the mutant powers of regeneration and of course bone claws which the government then exploits and fuses with the unbreakable adamantium metal in the name of special ops, Wolverine has also been subjected to immense torture.

It is this suffering and emotional plus physical baggage that leads to Wolverine becoming a loner who distances people away from himself. In spite of all the negativity, Wolverine still very much has a human side that fights to maintain the order of the world.

Counsellor tip – “Sometimes, people who’ve endured extreme suffering have to isolate themselves in order to heal completely.”

Hulk - Bruce Banner

Hulk, our beloved big guy, our angry green man suffered from abuse as a kid.

Hulk was subjected to intense psychological trauma at the hands of his alcoholic father. His father was physically abusive. As a result Hulk suffered from explosive fits of anger and rage.

Turning into Hulk is his way of relieving that anger. Hulk has however learnt to use it to his advantage and the betterment of the society as a member of the Avengers.

Counsellor tip – “Unpleasant experiences of abuse can teach people valuable life lessons. While it is natural to feel violated, angry or upset, in the end, how you end up channelizing those feelings is will determine your quality of life.”

If you have been through any emotional issue or have a query, you can write to the counsellor at expert@teentalkindia.com

 

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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