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Understand and Befriend Change

Change is a part of our lives which can make us feel overwhelmed. It is important to understand it objectively and take steps to cope with it. There are some ways in which we can manage change and allow ourselves the space and time to make it our new normal.

Change can be a very daunting experience for all of us. It cannot always be anticipated which may lead to feelings of anger, denial, fear, shock, uncertainty, etc. As humans we are programmed to retaliate change before we step back and think about what it actually entail. Changes can leave you feeling out of control and overwhelmed as there might be a situation which you can’t do anything about. We do not like to give away our control, do we? This may lead of confusion and restlessness. Before doing anything, begin with taking a few deep breaths and just sitting with the newly introduced situation.

Coping with change is not an easy thing to do. It takes energy, time and patience. Try to acknowledge that things are changing around you. It’s natural to deny that things are getting out of your control. It protects us from dealing with change. However, it’s important to take a step back from this phase and remind yourself that whatever is happening is okay. Recognize that something’s different.

Positive Change

Positive changes can also cause some stress.  For example, getting a new job, having a baby, graduating from school/college, etc.. Positive change can also lead to feelings of dread or uncertainty about what to do next. Remember to take time and ask for help. Stress is normal even if positive change occurs. Talk to people, understand your options and take one step at a time.

Stick to what you Can Control - Routine

Hold onto your regular schedule as much as possible. Although some things might be changing, there might be a few which you can keep constant. It’s helpful to make a list of your routine and do as much as you can while ticking them off. This will help you remember that there are things which have remained unchanged and are still in your control which relieves your brain for some time. If you eat breakfast at 8am, keep doing that. If you go for a walk after dinner, keep doing that. Anything which you can keep constant will be favourable.

Healthy Body = Healthy Mind

When change occurs, it’s natural to resort to carbs and comfort foods such as breads, muffins, cakes, pasta, etc as these can increase serotonin levels in our brain, a chemical which is responsible for our well-being and happiness. However, although we want to keep eating these, we need to realize that they are unhealthy and might cause further damage to our bodies and minds. In order to keep track of this, you can keep a list of things you’re eating during the day and reflect on it at the end of the day. Eating healthy food is as important as feeding our minds with positive and healthy thoughts, especially in times of angst.

Exercise!

We underestimate the power of moving around and exercising, especially in times of confusion and change. If it’s not a part of your schedule, add it. Going for a walk or jog can make you feel active and motivated. Start any kind of workout you enjoy and go ahead and do it. This will also elevate your serotonin level and make you energized. Even if you feel lazy and low on energy, put on shoes and music, and walk around.

Need Help? Just Ask!

Reach out for help. Getting through life on your own is not necessary and you have the option of seeking help. Think of friends, family, neighbors, mental health professionals, teachers, relatives, mentors or anybody who you trust. Share your feelings and ask for support. Sometimes you just need  to be heard and sometimes you need someone to sit with you. You’re not alone.

Write the Positives

When you feel ready and less overwhelmed with the change, try to write some positives which may have come from this new situation. It can be anything. In the midst of a stressful situation, we often put the positive experiences on the back burner. Bring them back to the front and list them. Read these anytime you feel lost and remind yourself that it’s not all bad. Anything that happens, also gives us the opportunity to grow and learn. It’s essential to recognize and appreciate these opportunities and evolve.

Finally, remember that it’s okay to take it slow. In a changing situation, you can do less than what you normally would. There is no hard and fast rule about doing 100% all the time. Sitting back and breathing is good enough. Allow yourself space and time to deal with change and take one day at a time, if needed. At the end of each day acknowledge that you overcame yet another day and are ready for the next. Become a survivor of change, not a victim.

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Body Language to look more Confident

Looking confident is the key to impressing people and making a lasting impact on them. Read on to know how you can improve your body language to look more confident and in control.

Body language in its simplest form is the non-verbal part of communication which can reveal some of our deepest and truest feelings, emotions and actions. We use gestures, posture, facial expressions, eye contact, and other visible elements to communicate beyond verbal content.

People notice your body and body movements while you converse with them. We all need to ensure that we are in control of what our body is telling the other person. This certainly can be done through practicing in front of the mirror, with a friend or a loved one as they can give you feedback on what they see.

Here are some ways of looking confident.

Eye contact:  When interacting with anybody socially or otherwise, try to keep direct eye contact with the other person. This reflects comfort and interest. If direct eye contact is too much, try to look at a spot close to their eyes.

Lean forward: While talking to someone, leaning forward towards them can also show that you are paying attention and interested. If you feel socially awkward and prefer to maintain distance, try to lean as much as your comfort zone allows.

Stand/Sit Straight: Sit r stand upright, move shoulders away from your ears and keep your arms and legs uncrossed. This will reflect more openness and confidence.

Try not to Fidget: When you fidget with something, it distracts the other person from your conversation and you. Keep away from fidgeting as much as possible as it is also a sign of nervousness and discomfort.

Keep your Head and Chin Up: While walking, keep your head up and don’t look downwards. Look forward and keep walking. It will come naturally with frequent practice.

Avoid Pockets: When you are afraid of your hands shaking or feeling uncomfortable, it is often natural to direct them into your pockets. Doing so can seem casual and arrogant. Try to keep them outside and you can use hand movements to keep them occupied. Keep hand movements minimal so that they don’t overshadow you or your conversation.

Use slow Movements: Movements, whether they are while walking or standing/sitting, can say a lot about how you feel. Keep them slow and well-paced.

Smile: It makes you look attractive and trustworthy. Practice it when you wake up and smile in front of a mirror.

It is important to remember that body language is not only a reflection of your confidence but also a projection of your self-esteem and how much you value yourself. You are in control of your body which makes it easier to become more reliant on gestures and other elements to help you appear and feel more confident. Remember, along with looking confident, work on yourself to emotionally and mentally increase your confidence which will automatically reflect in your personality.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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