Teentalk

At some point in our lives, we may experience anxious thoughts and  feelings caused by different stressors. It can be in the form of aches and pains, worrying thoughts, racing heart rate, sweating, fear and likewise.

Signs of anxiety can include but are not limited to:-

1. Feeling restless

2. Being easily tired

3. Concentration concerns

4. Being irritable

5. Tense or sore muscles

6. Having no or unsatisfying sleep

7. Seeking reassurance from others

8. Excessive list making

There might be many things which bother us on a regular basis. However, it’s important to remember that we are in control of our thoughts and feelings. In a moment of anxiety, try some of the following tips to cope with it and help yourself.

1. First and foremost, remember to BREATHE, Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth

2. Learn to identify anxious thoughts and actively recognize if they are reasonable or irrational

3. If they are unreasonable, challenge them and try to see if there is evidence supporting those thoughts, if not, try to invalidate them

4. Avoid drinking caffeine if you are feeling or anticipating feeling anxious

5. Try to find the following around you. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This will help you bring your attention back to the present and distract you from the anxious thoughts

6. Set aside a certain amount of time during the day when you allow yourself to worry about whatever is bothering you. Aside from this time, try to control or stop your anxious or worrisome thoughts.

7. Get some physical movement into your daily schedule (exercise, yoga, running, walking, jogging, skipping, sports, cycling, martial arts, etc)

8. Do some work round the house or organize something like your closet or study table

9. Cultivate stronger and meaningful friendships and relationships with people

10. Find that one thing that helps you feel calm and repeat it

Anxiety can be abundantly scary and so terrifying. But when you learn to identify what makes you anxious, learn to replace those thoughts with something more realistic and rational. Writing these irrational and challenging rational thoughts really helps. Talk to a friend and ask them to challenge you because then you can be accountable to them along with yourself.

You’re stronger and braver than your anxiety. Remind yourself that you can control it and if there is something negative, certainly something positive is also present. You’ll just need to look closely and patiently. Stop. Breathe. Repeat!

Assertiveness is a skill regularly mentioned to in social and communication skills training. Being assertive means able to stand up for your own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive or passively accepting ‘wrong’. Developing an Assertive personality can start in early Teenage. Here are some tips given by our Teentalkindia expert to help you learn to be more assertive.
 

• Make the choice to positively assert yourself: Commit to being assertive rather than passive or aggressive and start practicing today as a teen.
• Look for open and honest communication: Don’t forget to respect other people when you are sharing your feelings, wants, needs, beliefs or opinions.
• Listen actively: Try to comprehend the other person’s point of view and don’t interrupt when they are explaining it to you.
• Agree to disagree: This is important to note that having a different point of view doesn’t mean you are right and the other person is wrong.
• Avoid guilt trips: Be honest and tell others how you feel or what you want without making allegations or making them feel embarrassed.
• Stay calm: Breathe normally, maintain an eye contact, keep your face relaxed and speak in a normal voice.
• Adopt a problem-solving approach to conflict: Try to see the other person as your friend not your rival.
• Exercise assertiveness: Talk in an assertive way in front of a mirror or with a friend. Be watchful about your body language as well as to the words you say.
• Use ‘I’: Stick to statements that include ‘I’ in them such as ‘I think’ or ‘I feel’. Don’t use hostile language such as ‘you always’ or ‘you never’.
• Be patient: Being assertive is a proficiency that needs practice. Remember that you will sometimes do better at it than at other times, but you can always learn from your faults.

Benefits of being an Assertive person:

• Reduced social anxiety and need for approval. As we become more capable at expressing our own beliefs, wants, we don’t need to worry as much about disapproval as we imagine.
• Better self-confidence and self-respect. When we honestly express how we feel and what we want, we’re reinforcing our own brains that we are important and valuable. And ultimately, it’s the source of genuine self-confidence and self-respect.
• Improved relationships and partnerships:  All communication issues are problems of assertiveness. When we know how to communicate assertively especially with friends and family, every aspect of our relationships improve.

We all to be more confident, but not everyone know how to be assertive. Assertiveness lies between passive and aggressive. If you're passive about your opinion, you may come across as submissive whereas, if you are aggressive in your viewpoint, you may come across as a hostile or a bully. But if you learn to be assertive, you can express yourself without being passive or aggressive, and you will have a better oppurtunity of getting what you want. You teens keep working through each of these techniques and soon you will feel more confident!