Teentalk

Farewell season is around us, and as social media will flood with photos of students and proud parents, the time has come for teens to tackle the question “What’s next?” (Because you already know you would be asked that many times over the next few months.) Many will find difficult to answer. You may have a good diploma in hand, but the working world is totally different.  And while many students think they have the skills needed to succeed in the “real world,” less than a third of employers agree with them. The fact is, there are some professional skills which a classroom doesn’t teach you.

Below are some skills valued in the workplace, across a range of roles and industries:

1. Network building: Networking, in a nutshell, is meeting new people in a professional context, building those relationships over time, and adding value to each other. This skill is important because 85% of a person’s success is due to “human engineering”—your personality, communication ability and emotional intelligence.

2. Realistic goal setting: Setting goals, with realistic deadlines, is a must have skill for any job where you don’t have someone clearly telling you what to do. Goal-setting also helps for personal development and growth. Think about the big picture like where you want to be in five years and break down that challenging goal into smaller pieces, making it easier to overcome.

3. Prioritizing your to do list: The ability to evaluate each of your tasks and rank them in order of priority is a skill that can set you apart in the workplace. Related to that, learning how to say “no”. As you grow in your career, an inflow of opportunities will come your way, all placing demands on your time. You’ll need to order what matters most, put some on the back burner, and decline others altogether.

4. Leading a team:  The meaning of leadership involves knowing who you are and what you stand for, being able to delegate wisely, maintaining integrity, and having the ability to listen to and work alongside others. Just because they weren’t taught inside the college classroom doesn’t mean you can’t practice these career-boosting skills. And once you do, you’ll do well in your career—no matter what industry you’ve chosen.

5. Selling and negotiation: How to sell your ideas and yourself is something not taught in college, but you’ll miss great opportunities if you lack the skills and confidence to put yourself out there. You may get that dream job by selling yourself to a hiring manager. You can get startup investors by selling your vision. You can negotiate a raise by selling yourself to a higher-up.  

6. You are responsible for your actions and words: Take pride in your work, think out of the box, do the work well and learn from mistakes. The consequences of each action and decision are your responsibility and the sooner we understand that, the more pride we can take in our ownership and individuality.

7. Finding a fulfilling work: You probably come out of school with at least a vague sense of what career you wanted to pursue, but for all but a small, lucky minority, those ideas quickly smack up against the realities of a tough job market and dull day-to-day reality. The primary step to figuring out what to do next is accepting this sort of quarter-life crisis is entirely normal. Then stop idly pondering what your passion might be, and start asking smarter questions and conducting small experiments. Nobody ever found their dream job by sitting on the couch stressing out! 

These skills can help anyone get ahead in practically any field, from running a company to running a startup. Obviously, there are certain skills specific to each field as well – but with the skills that translate across disciplines, are the ones that can be learned by anyone in any position

It sounds like a wonderful thing to do, and we wish many times that we could just do that. But what it means? Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and posing. Your authentic self is the real you which goes beyond all of those conditioned beliefs and thinking patterns that you have gathered throughout your life. Below are some steps that may help in uncovering your real nature:

• Stay connected with your inner child: If you ever observe small children, you will notice just how free they are and how least they care about what other people think of them. They are happy and in their true natures; Children are just pure love and light. If you really want to connect with your inner child, become freer. Play, have fun, enjoy the moment. We play roles which are appropriate to society and we suppress our true nature out of fear of what others think. If you find yourself thinking about being judged, remember that is merely just the socialized you, not the real you.
• Get aware of your thoughts:  You may be shocked by the amount of negative thoughts that run through your mind on any given day. Our reality shapes based on all of these conditioned thinking patterns. Become aware of the quality of your thinking. Allow yourself to sit quietly every morning for just five to ten minutes. Thoughts will come off and on, but just allow them to do that without getting attached to them. Just observe them and when you are finished, continue observing the mind throughout the day. Becoming more aware of the quality of your thoughts, can help in revealing your true nature.
• Follow your intuition: This is probably one of the most important things in being yourself. When you start following the little nudges and impulses that you get, you will have jumped onto the magic carpet ride of awesomeness. When you get into the habit of doing this with small things, it will make it easier to say yes to the big things.
• Stop focusing on your past: Take a step back and breathe. Don’t forget the framework of your behavior and remember to place them in the past. Your previous decisions and behavior, although impactful, do not define who you are, much less who you will evolve into as you grow into a fuller person. It’s unhealthy to keep distressing yourself for things that you did in the past. Participate in the art of letting go and moving on.
• Avoid comparing yourself: As you try to understand who you are as an individual, it will be appealing to compare yourself to others. We are surrounded by more beautiful and more successful version of ourselves and those alone can knock down our self-confidence and send us circling into mimicry. However, doing this will only suppress your growth and prevent you from discovering your true self.

Experience life in all potential ways; good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light or summer-winter. Experience all the contrasts. Don’t be afraid because the more experience you have, the more mature you get. Don’t force it and you’ll find that things will naturally start falling into place.

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts