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Know your anger levels

Anger is one of the most misunderstood and overused of human emotion. Why do we display this emotion? Let’s find out

All of us get angry at some point or other. Most of us can figure out the reason for this. But many a time we get puzzled by the suddenness and intensity of this anger. There is hardly any particular way in which people display anger. So if you thought that people who shout and scream a lot are the angriest, you need to understand the emotion called anger deeply.

In reality, the feelings underlying the anger reaction makes us feel vulnerable and weak; although momentarily, anger makes us feel strong and in control. There are various factors that increase the probability of an angry reaction. First, if we have seen our parents get angry first and then resolve the issue, we are more likely to use the same approach. Thus, types of anger are learned. Second, if we are frustrated and stressed, we are more prone to react angrily. Third, if we are tired, we are more likely to get angry. Fourth, If we tend to hold our feelings inside rather than talk them out, we are more likely to have an angry outburst as the pressure increases much like a pressure cooker.

Styles of Anger

Here are a few common types of anger styles:

‘Mad Hatter’ Drivers: People that yell, curse when they are in a hurry and frustrated

Sulkers: Those who shut down – stop speaking and looking at others

Safe Heaven Abusers: This type take out their frustrations only on their loved ones

Distractors: They disregard the object of their annoyance by reading the paper, forgetting to run an errand or playing the music too loudly. Whenever they are confronted their response is, ‘I don’t know; I forgot; I’m tired’.

Blamers: Persons who blame everybody else for everything but rarely accept responsibility for their own shortcomings.

Avengers: People who believe they have the right to seek vengeance in any way for anything by using the excuse – they deserved it.

How is your Anger?

Give yourself one point for each statement that holds true for you.

  1. People tell you that you need to calm down
     
  2. You feel tense much of the time
     
  3. At work, you find yourself not saying what is in your mind
     
  4. When you are upset you try to block the world by watching TV, reading a book or going to sleep
     
  5. You drink or smoke daily to calm yourself
     
  6. You have trouble going to sleep
     
  7. You feel misunderstood or not taken seriously much of the time
     
  8. People ask you to not to yell or curse so much
     
  9. Your loved ones keep on telling you that you are hurting them
     
  10. Friends so not seek you out as much

What is your score?

0-2 MANAGEABLE: You could benefit from relaxation training

3-5 MODERATE: You need to learn more about what stresses you, and learn stress management techniques

6+ OUT OF CONTROL: You have an anger issue that could benefit from learning anger management techniques with professional help.

As taken from the book Everyday Psychology by Dr. Vinay Mishra, renowned psychologist, trainer and the HOD of Humanities Department at The Bhopal School of Social Science, Bhopal.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Enjoy single life to the fullest

Being single is not a status rather it’s a word that describes a person who is tough enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others

Being single is amazing. Being single is, simply a great experience. Not only does it allow you to have a little fun, but it can be a great way to date the most special person in your life. Don’t go searching for love just yet rather it will come along, and when it does, you’ll be ready for it. Although we are forced to dream about the benefits of a relationship, there are so many perks of the single life which are often underrated and overlooked.

Spend time with your loved ones

Relationships come and go, but friends and family are often around for much longer. You being single is a chance to spend quality time with those in your life who matter the most. You don’t want to look back and regret not having spent enough time with them.

Work more play more

Live it up now when you have the time and energy to do so. Don’t let anything stop you from managing everything head-on, whether that’s in school, at work, or in play. Start now!

Do self-reflection

Are you content with what you did today? Is there room for enhancement? Don’t criticize, but remember to take the time to think about yourself and your life. This is an opportunity to get to know yourself and really connect with your values and thoughts. Use this chance to evaluate these. Later, you’ll need this information when new love interests enter your life.

Enjoy your freedom

You can do whatever you want, so find out what your passion is and follow it! Utilize this time and make it count. No matter how big or how small the opportunity is, commit to saying yes whenever you can. It will open up more avenues than you think!

Travel a lot

This does not require a relationship thing. You can go with friends, family, or even a social group or even alone, when safe. There are many amazing experiences to enjoy around the world. However, some people wait to have them until they have a partner to share it with. Those things can change your life and affect you forever. Doing those things alone can feel even more empowering and liberating.

Plan for yourself

All the things you would do or plan for if you would have a partner; you can still do for yourself. You are independent and can make your own decisions without getting permission or needing to check in with anyone. So appreciate saving your money or enjoy spending it on yourself. When it is just you, you are in control of it all without guilt. 

Staying single is not a punishment. It is not something to fear or mourn for. You can learn how to enjoy being single as well as own your independence and learning this is not as hard as it sounds. There is a misconception that being single is the worst thing you can be. Definitely, a relationship can add colours to your life, but that is not the only way to be happy, fulfilled, or successful.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.