Teentalk

As we grow up, we begin to experiment with multiple things in life. Going out and having fun is one of them. This doesn’t only mean that you are going to go out and dance and drink, but also means that you are a social being and need to engage and interact with others. One way of doing so is by attending/hosting parties. Parties may become a big part of your teenage years and that’s completely natural. People go out, drink, dance, try different things, interact with each other and come home.

However, in the midst of these festivities, there certainly are some risks which can be involved. We are all prone to losing control at some point in our lives. However, knowing the risks beforehand and trying to avoid them, is a good place to start when anticipating a party night. Let’s first look at the risks you can possibly attract during such a time.

1. Drinking too much alcohol

2. Driving after drinking (even one drink is counted)

3. Unprotected or non-consensual sexual activities

4. Drink spiking (when an illicit substance is added to your drink by others)

5. Drug overdose

6. Fights, injuries, violence

7. Accidents, altercations, legal concerns

8. Not finding a safe way back home

9. Getting lost

These are some of the risks and concerns which may arise during or after a party. These are common concerns which need to be taken seriously. This doesn’t mean in any way that you should not happy and have fun. There are ways of doing both, being safe and having fun at the same time. Let’s take a look at some ways of keeping yourself and friends safe and alert.

1. Look out for your friends and ask them to do the same. Care for each other

2. Decide your mode of transport to get back home. Either ask your parents to pick you up at an agreed time or have a friend’s parents do so. If neither of these is possible, call a taxi at the venue.

3. Eat a heavy meal before going to the party. A full stomach slows he absorption of alcohol.

4. If you plan to drink, set a limit for yourself and try to stick to it

5. Using drugs or other substances can be avoided. However, if you wish to indulge, know exactly what you are absorbing. Tell a friend about it. And try to set a limit for it.

6. While you’re at the party, get your own drinks. Don’t allow others to get them for you. Only receive them from the bartender or a trusted friend.

7. Keep an eye on your drink at all times. If you leave it unattended, get a new one.

8. Don’t mix drugs and alcohol or other drugs together

9. Don’t be driven by someone who has been drinking

10. If at any point you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, leave and go to a safe place and call someone to come and get you

11. Avoid engaging in drinking games or other risk behaviors like jumping into pools, walking around on streets, driving, etc.

12. Keep your parents or someone adult informed about your location, time, and company of the party

13. Keep your phone with you at all times and don’t leave it anywhere

14. Charge your phone to full before leaving for the party

15. Remember, saying no is completely okay

16. If your friend seems to be unwell, call their parents or the ambulance

17. Avoid engaging in violence or fights. Walk away from a problematic situation

18. Always stay close to a trusted friend

19. Don’t take any substance or drink from another person while they pass it around to the whole group

20. Avoid sexual contact with people as when you and others are drinking, the ability to provide consent and being protective lowers down

21. Sexual or any other kind of physical assaults should be reported immediately

22. Don’t pour yourself another drink before finishing the previous one

23. Keep drinking non-alcoholic drinks in between (water, lemon water, etc)

24. If you have reached your limit of alcoholic drinks, hold a non-alcoholic drink or water in your hands to keep them engaged and so you don’t feel left out

Understanding these tips and keeping yourself safe are the most important things which matter at the end of the day. Your life is more precious than any party or event. Having said that, this also means that enjoyment and fun are equally important. When you study/work hard, you deserve to have some fun and frolic. And if you’re not a party person, that’s fine too. Do what makes you happy and enjoy your own version of fun.

Stay safe, stay responsible, and stay happy!

Criticism is a common—but painful—experience. Being criticized may produce fear, shame or anger, and feed into your insecurities. Obviously, not all critics produce these negative experiences, there is a positive criticism that makes you think and helps you grow. To discover it is important to understand what provokes people to criticize, if their reasons are valid or, on the contrary, are only a strategy to reassert their power, complain or humiliate.

 People criticize you because:

• They feel endangered by some of your qualities and use criticism as a defense to try to balance the game. In practice, these people feel inferior, then attack your flaws trying to take you down to their level.

• They like to feel accountable for the situation in every moment and get scared when they feel that are losing control. In such cases, criticizing you return to them, at least in part, the feeling of control, because they believe to tear you down this way and take the control.

• They want to gain something: They criticize you in front of someone else; to make sure they look better, both at work and with friends. In this case they do it because consider you a rival or a competitor.

• They try to draw your attention and approval, but since they’re short of social and emotional skills, fail to do it in an assertive way, so they end up, complaining or whining. In fact, when people think they are skilled in every field, often criticize others to demonstrate what they know and reaffirm their position, looking for admiration.

• They’re project their fears and insecurities: In fact, when people do not admit some of their features and recognize them in the others, they generate in them a deep denial and open the way to criticism.

• They feel frustrated as they have tried to express their needs and opinions in a more assertive way, but you haven’t been paying attention and, then, they discharge all that anger in the criticism.

• They need to feel powerful, even if it means over powering you and to achieve this, they use criticism as a stick with which they hit you.

The way to respond to criticism depends largely on the situation and the reasons that cause it. In fact, there are circumstances where is better not to do it, because reacting to criticism would only serve to further develop the other person and satisfy his/her desire for leadership and control. In these cases it is best to pay no attention to them, because trying to defend ourselves would only lead to a dead end. Hence, if you can, pretend that nothing has happened. When the person who criticizes you is significant for you, it is necessary that you pay attention and let him/her know that you love and esteem him/her, even if you do not agree with that opinion. You can also point out to that person that you respect his/her ideas and efforts, but always asserting your freedom and the right to make your own decisions. Nobody enjoys to be criticized, but it is part of the human experience. Try to find the middle ground between taking too much accountability for other people’s issues and being too defensive.