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8 reasons why people criticize you

All are sufferers of criticism. When we are criticized we may feel ashamed, angry or even unworthy and incompetent.

Criticism is a common—but painful—experience. Being criticized may produce fear, shame or anger, and feed into your insecurities. Obviously, not all critics produce these negative experiences, there is a positive criticism that makes you think and helps you grow. To discover it is important to understand what provokes people to criticize, if their reasons are valid or, on the contrary, are only a strategy to reassert their power, complain or humiliate.

 People criticize you because:

  • They feel endangered by some of your qualities and use criticism as a defense to try to balance the game. In practice, these people feel inferior, then attack your flaws trying to take you down to their level.

 

  • They like to feel accountable for the situation in every moment and get scared when they feel that are losing control. In such cases, criticizing you return to them, at least in part, the feeling of control, because they believe to tear you down this way and take the control.

 

  • They want to gain something: They criticize you in front of someone else; to make sure they look better, both at work and with friends. In this case they do it because consider you a rival or a competitor.

 

  • They try to draw your attention and approval, but since they’re short of social and emotional skills, fail to do it in an assertive way, so they end up, complaining or whining. In fact, when people think they are skilled in every field, often criticize others to demonstrate what they know and reaffirm their position, looking for admiration.

 

  • They’re project their fears and insecurities: In fact, when people do not admit some of their features and recognize them in the others, they generate in them a deep denial and open the way to criticism.

 

  • They feel frustrated as they have tried to express their needs and opinions in a more assertive way, but you haven’t been paying attention and, then, they discharge all that anger in the criticism.

 

  • They need to feel powerful, even if it means over powering you and to achieve this, they use criticism as a stick with which they hit you.

The way to respond to criticism depends largely on the situation and the reasons that cause it. In fact, there are circumstances where is better not to do it, because reacting to criticism would only serve to further develop the other person and satisfy his/her desire for leadership and control. In these cases it is best to pay no attention to them, because trying to defend ourselves would only lead to a dead end. Hence, if you can, pretend that nothing has happened. When the person who criticizes you is significant for you, it is necessary that you pay attention and let him/her know that you love and esteem him/her, even if you do not agree with that opinion. You can also point out to that person that you respect his/her ideas and efforts, but always asserting your freedom and the right to make your own decisions. Nobody enjoys to be criticized, but it is part of the human experience. Try to find the middle ground between taking too much accountability for other people’s issues and being too defensive.

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Good listeners are good communicators

Good communication skills are necessary for everyone at every phase in life be it personal or professional. And mastering to have good communication skills is a result of practice.

Everyone wants to become a good orator and why not, effective communicators are usually successful in life. And it is something unavoidable in any and everyone’s life. Be it that you are a student, or office goer conveying what you think is really essential. Also in your personal life if you are a good communicator then you can easily maintain strong interpersonal relations.

Also communication skills are needed to convey information and eliminate the source of confusion. As in the case of written words, there is a lack of emotions and expressions. And one can really not understand what the person is feeling or thinking. To become a good communicator it is necessary to keep few points in mind.
A good listener is usually a good communicator, as the person is good with facts. Listening smartly can make you gather a lot of information, store them and use them later. Along with being a good listener, if you are an effective presenter and a quick thinker, it is a superb ad on. So try to listen carefully.
Only words do not communicate what you feel or want to express. Eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, postures and body orientation, proximity, paralinguistic, humor are also considered as ways of non verbal communication. So be careful about all these attributes also, whenever you are meeting someone or trying to communicate.

The key to improving your communication skills is listening, reading and practicing as much as you can. This will not only build confidence in you to narrate well whatever you want to, but also constantly be a motivation to learn. 
If you are interested in writing, you can definitely use your writing skills also to practice what you have heard or read. Apart from all this if you find similar language speaking people and keep practicing. Do not hesitate, you are in the learning phase. Reading aloud is also very effective in improving communication skills. By reading loudly you can improve your pronunciation and vocabulary at a time

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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