If you are depressed, feel suicidal, have exam anxiety or have a question related to mental health, you can contact Vandrevala Foundation on their 24x7 helpline number. You can talk to the experts in English, Hindi and Gujarati.18602662345 18002333330
I had difficulty remembering to carry notebooks and stationary to school. The mind used to become numb. I would keep forgetting to do daily tasks such as brushing my teeth or combing my hair. Life was passing by in a haze. On one particular day, I forgot to carry a ruler to school for Physics exam, and was punished by the teacher for the major part of the day. Since the.....
I had difficulty remembering to carry notebooks and stationary to school. The mind used to become numb. I would keep forgetting to do daily tasks such as brushing my teeth or combing my hair. Life was passing by in a haze. On one particular day, I forgot to carry a ruler to school for Physics exam, and was punished by the teacher for the major part of the day. Since then, I decided to make a list of all the things I should remember to carry to school, and a list of all the things I have to complete in a day. I stuck it on the mirror so that I do not miss it.
Rags to riches
There were moments when I was so sad and unhappy that I could not stand it. Feelings of emptiness and unworthiness wore on my skin and soul. At the moment, my future seemed like a dark tunnel filled with muck. I would think of myself as a complete and utter failure incapable of doing even the simples of tasks such as getting good grades. Then I came across a song by the Italian singer Giorgio Moroder, that I simply loved. I Googled him to find that he used to sleep in his car during his teens before he created waves in the EDM circuit. I think reading stories about famous icons helps in instilling hope and confidence.
Am I an insomniac?
Sleep evaded me on most nights. There were times when I would curl up on the floor and cry, on other times, I would lie on the bed and stare at the walls. I would think about a different life, not the one that I have. Often, I would talk to myself as a friend or a lover. I fell in love with the dead of the night. The silence became a friend and I got comfortable with it. On these sleepless nights, I would often listen to songs. I had about ten playlists for different moods, and would often sing myself to sleep.
Where is the love!
I hated myself. Life was a series of unhappy events and I blamed myself for all of them. It’s like I was being punished for something. For what? I had no clue. I would often think of suicide. In an attempt to end it, I slashed my wrist. Subsequently, I wore full-length shirts to hide the scars, but my mom found out about it. She hugged and told me that she is going to be there for me. I felt happy that my existence mattered to someone. I think, since then, I remind myself that I have at least one person who wants to see me smile.
Binge or not…
There were moments of eating way too much. There were also moments of eating nothing at all. Food made me happy at times, and infuriated me on other days. This love-hate relationship was getting to me. I developed unhealthy eating patterns and would often feel weak. Tiredness wore on my bones. Once, I saw a cooking show on TV, and got excited about cooking. I went in the kitchen and made an omelet. Cooking has helped me monitor the amount of food I consume. Slowly, I started enjoying food.
If you feel any of these symptoms, it’s time to talk to a parent, friend or a counsellor.
If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.
If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.
You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.
Get updates on latest articles, advice from experts and lots more. Don’t worry, we won't share your info with anyone