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Dealing with self-consciouness

Self-consciousness can be a major factor and can become a hindrance to self-confidence.

To start with, let’s understand what self-consciousness is and then try to know how it affects our performance in social situations and what we can do to help ourselves with this knowledge and understanding. The result, hopefully, will be better self-confidence.

What is self-consciousness?

Imagine yourself in this situation: You are in a social setting and someone puts you on the spot, they may ask you an awkward or difficult question and suddenly you start to feel aware of yourself. You start focusing on yourself and your reaction and how nervous you are feeling right now. This is self-consciousness – focusing on yourself. You might feel a rush of adrenalin, sweaty or shaky hands and feet and a lack of focus too. Self-consciousness prevents you from focusing on the task and being self-confident.

How does self-consciousness affect your confidence?

As you start to feel self-conscious your anxiety level increases. Your anxiousness is evident in your body language, which tells others that you are not confident. Which, in turn, will affect how they act towards you and this will make you feel even more uncomfortable. When you are relaxed you look and feel confident and in control and your mind is free to think about the challenge you face.

What can you do to stop being self-conscious?

It’s easy to talk about what you need to do to help yourself but when you are in that stressful situation your body reacts in a split second and your mind and fears take over as you forget everything you planned to do.  You have to face your fears and overcome them. The key is learning how best to prepare yourself for the event and how to relax.

As you prepare for these situations, you should always remember that it is okay to be nervous or afraid. Many people feel the same way. The important thing is acknowledging that these fears and feelings are there, but that they are not a force unless you let them become one. By accepting these facts and focusing on methods to cope with them rather than allowing them to become a force and manipulate your actions, you take the biggest step in overcoming your fears and beating self-consciousness.

If you can calm yourself and relax you will feel in control, this will boost your confidence. If you find yourself beginning to focus on yourself then deliberately try to focus on something else. Notice how the other person is talking or find something in the room to divert your attention from yourself and your feelings for a second then try to relax.

An excellent way to prepare yourself for these tough social challenges is to try to prepare yourself mentally by practicing events in your head in a relaxed state so that your mind and body will behave in a more positive way when you face the stress and fear of the situation. Self-hypnosis is the best way to learn how you can train your mind to act differently. This can really help you!

 

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NEXT STORY


5 signs you may have a Superiority complex

You may not understand it, but how you see yourself can affect the way you treat other people

When a person behaves superior to another, the underlying feeling of the person behaving superiorly is that the other is a threat to him/her. In some way, they consider others will find out that they really are 'inadequate' and therefore behave in a manner that makes them feel like they are 'better' than the rest. This trait can develop between the ages of five and 12. At this stage of development, a child tries to seek acceptance and validation.

We live in a world where there is continuous competition. Often it leads to frustration, depression, and anger. This leaves us into a frenzied state to conform, excel, and represent ourselves based on the image that society has asked of us. Characteristics of a person with a superiority complex:

They seek validation often: For such people, their sense of self-worth will come from outside sources. They only feel good or worthy enough if others see them as much.

Keep comparing with others: As their sense of self-worth is based on other people, someone with a superiority complex has a habit of comparing themselves to those around them.

They are self-centered: They may even undervalue the accomplishments of others by one-upping them with their own endeavors.

They lack empathy: To feel the pain and issues of others you need certain level calm and compose in life. These people end being a cold heart.

They face anxiety issues: People with this order often develop anxiety issues from various things. There is a conflict between their true self and the projected image. It is always difficult for them to cope with the two personalities. 

Having a superiority complex doesn't always make someone a bad person and it's possible to overcome these feelings. They just need to be willing to self-reflect and make positive changes within themselves. So, how can you overcome this?

  • Try to identify and embrace at least one strength in everyone you deal with.
  • Each person is different, hence allowing others to figure things out on their own is how they learn and grow. 
  • Before you criticize, craft some questions that can help the person recognize the mistakes on their own. 
  • People around you, remember how you make them feel. If you only make out criticism, you'll be labeled mean and your feedback will be dismissed as negativity.

Normally, one suffering a superiority complex does not need psychiatric help, unless the complex completely takes over their personality. The complex can be passed down through heritage or it can also be the result of interactions at school or social functions. By following the above, you can display emotional intelligence those around you. Once you understand what a superiority complex is, you can equip yourself to conquer it.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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