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How Ruby tackled her mental abuse

Many of us face abuse from the same person whom once we thought would be the source of ultimate happiness for us. But what to do when things don't turn up the way we thought?

It all started when Ruby met this boy from her College. He was charming and had a great sense of humor. They started dating immediately and post ten months, she gradually started exploring different parts of his personality. After he had already won her heart, a few digs or small putdowns started to come her way.

Months started going by and between many of the good times, there were put-downs here and there. Going to a restaurant, where there was this table and a chair near the wall, he says to Ruby, “Why don’t you sit there in the corner and put a hat on it”, like she was a stupid or something. Other comments like Idiot, Crazy came later as the intensity of their relationship got worse due to the verbal abuse and other factors.

Over time, she started realizing that he manipulated her to make her think that she was the reason for his emotional or verbal abuse and then, she had to finally wake up. So, the greatest gift that she gave to herself last Christmas is to walk away from him and get her spirits back.

So, here are few steps to get out of such mental exploitation:

Get your power back: The easiest way to do this is to be willing to move on from the relationship. This makes you to move forward with the next steps from a place of power, not a place of fear.

Set limits for criticism and emotional outbursts: Listen to the concerns others have about your actions and how they affect them, but don’t engage in conversations that attack who you are as a person.

Consider others concerns: Don't agree to do things simply in order to keep the peace or save the relationship, especially if deep down you know it isn't right for you.

Be clear and honest with yourself first: Consider your values, goals, and needs. Make sure your decisions are in alignment with your highest self, needs and all.

Find people and experiences that celebrate who you are: Find ways to reconnect with the powerful person you truly are. Engage and connect with other peopel who support and love you for exactly who you are.

At the end of the day, only you can decide if his controlling behavior is something you are willing to live with or not. Relationships should be something that supports your growth, not something that diminishes it.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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अपनी स्ट्रेंथ, अपनी वीकनेस पहचानिए। सबसे पहले यह जानिए कि आपको क्या पसंद है और क्या नापसंद।

अपनी स्ट्रेंथ, अपनी वीकनेस पहचानिए। सबसे पहले यह जानिए कि आपको क्या पसंद है और क्या नापसंद। आपकी लाइफ में कौन-सी चीज की कितनी इंपोर्टेंस है, यह भी ऑब्जर्व करना बहुत जरूरी है। अपने आप को दूसरे से बेहतर आप खुद ही समझ सकते हैं।

जब हम दुखी हों, परेशान हों या किसी ने हमारा मजाक बनाया हो तो इस सिचुएशन से कैसे बचना है, यह भी हमें पता होना चाहिए। नहीं तो हम डिप्रेशन में आ सकते हैं। इस बार निष्ठा जुनेजा से जानिए कि कैसे इस तरह की परेशानी में हमें कंट्रोल करना है-

अपनी स्ट्रेंथ, अपनी वीकनेस पहचानिए। सबसे पहले यह जानिए कि आपको क्या पसंद है और क्या नापसंद। आपकी लाइफ में कौन-सी चीज की कितनी इंपोर्टेंस है, यह भी ऑब्जर्व करना बहुत जरूरी है। अपने आप को दूसरे से बेहतर आप खुद ही समझ सकते हैं।

आपको जो करना है उसे करने की ठान लीजिए। भले ही ऐसा करने पर आपके दोस्त आपका मजाक उड़ाएं, उनकी बातों पर ध्यान न दें। शुरू में मुश्किल हो सकती है, लेकिन यदि आप लंबे समय तक फॉलो करते हैं तो इसके रिजल्ट से आप खुद भी सरप्राइज हो जाएंगे।

दूसरों के एप्रूवल से पहले खुद से प्यार करना सीखना महत्वपूर्ण है। अपने अाप पर भरोसा करना होगा। कुछ समय के बाद आपके साथी और दूसरे लोग भी आप पर विश्वास करने लगेंगे।

जो आपको नीचा दिखाने की कोशिश करते हैं, ऐसे लोगों से एप्रूवल लेने की बजाय, जैसी आइडियल लाइफस्टाइल की आप कल्पना करते हैं, उसे पूरा करने की कोशिश करें। अपने लिए ईमानदार रहें, पॉजीटिव लोगों से मिलें, नए ईवेंट्स और एक्टिविटीज में भाग लें। इस तरह निगेटिविटी काे खत्म कर पॉजीटिव सोच को अपनाएं।

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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