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How Nishtha beat the pain

Warriors that go unnoticed are no less brave than those who get recognition. One such fighter is Nishtha Pathak, who got abused, depressed and suffered Fibromyalgia yet conquered it all

She was in fourth grade, when Nishtha was abused for the first time by her neighbour’s son who was twice her age. “I couldn’t understand what was happening but deep down my heart, I knew it was something wrong”, she recalls. The abuse continued till she reached eighth grade and by seven different men at different times of her life!

When she realised that this was a matter of concern she started to stay away from those people and they, realising that she has understood what this is all about, too stopped their carnal activities. Although she was out of abuse, she had another challenge to overcome.

That was the time she started taking anti depressants as she wasn’t old enough to understand the gravity of what was happening to her.

And nine years ago, she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body, which is the result of extreme physical and emotional abuse in the past. When asked about the condition Nishtha said, “Hurt is not a big enough word, there doesn’t seem to be a big enough or strong enough word to describe the pain of fibromyalgia”.

“When I tell people that everything hurts, I mean I cannot find a part of me that is not in pain. I don’t know what it’s like to wake up pain-free. There’s tingling, numbing, aching, throbbing, shooting, sharp, knife-like, needle-like, scratching, burning, intense, scary, I’m-going-to-pass-out pains. It’s indescribable. It’s going to end with my last breath. It affects your whole body plus your mind and emotions”.

She was 16 when she was diagnosed with it and was even told honestly by the doctor that there is no cure for the same. So she took an year drop from school to take time to come in terms with the fact that she has certain medical condition that is so intense. Gradually she mustered up the courage to realise that she will have to cope up with it and that too positively for her own good.

All this had taught her to appreciate the low pain level days and to push the limits in the bad ones. Earlier she used to compare herself to others and feel bad about it but with time she has learnt that she is her own competition and has to beat herself up every single day.

Currently, she has a daily routine of going to coaching, gym sessions, studies and fun, all while dealing with Fibromyaligia. She takes good care of herself physically and emotionally. She says the pain doesn’t stop and is still the same as it was nine years back. But now she has built the courage and will to fight it.

 “All of this has made me feel guilty and ashamed at some point of time in my life but then I am unapologetic for who I am. I am a fighter and that’s unapologetically me. Be your own hero and be somebody’s morphine”.

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How Ruby tackled her mental abuse

Many of us face abuse from the same person whom once we thought would be the source of ultimate happiness for us. But what to do when things don't turn up the way we thought?

It all started when Ruby met this boy from her College. He was charming and had a great sense of humor. They started dating immediately and post ten months, she gradually started exploring different parts of his personality. After he had already won her heart, a few digs or small putdowns started to come her way.

Months started going by and between many of the good times, there were put-downs here and there. Going to a restaurant, where there was this table and a chair near the wall, he says to Ruby, “Why don’t you sit there in the corner and put a hat on it”, like she was a stupid or something. Other comments like Idiot, Crazy came later as the intensity of their relationship got worse due to the verbal abuse and other factors.

Over time, she started realizing that he manipulated her to make her think that she was the reason for his emotional or verbal abuse and then, she had to finally wake up. So, the greatest gift that she gave to herself last Christmas is to walk away from him and get her spirits back.

So, here are few steps to get out of such mental exploitation:

Get your power back: The easiest way to do this is to be willing to move on from the relationship. This makes you to move forward with the next steps from a place of power, not a place of fear.

Set limits for criticism and emotional outbursts: Listen to the concerns others have about your actions and how they affect them, but don’t engage in conversations that attack who you are as a person.

Consider others concerns: Don't agree to do things simply in order to keep the peace or save the relationship, especially if deep down you know it isn't right for you.

Be clear and honest with yourself first: Consider your values, goals, and needs. Make sure your decisions are in alignment with your highest self, needs and all.

Find people and experiences that celebrate who you are: Find ways to reconnect with the powerful person you truly are. Engage and connect with other peopel who support and love you for exactly who you are.

At the end of the day, only you can decide if his controlling behavior is something you are willing to live with or not. Relationships should be something that supports your growth, not something that diminishes it.

If you have a story to share, Email it to us HERE.

If you have a query, Email it to us HERE.

You can also chat with the counsellor by clicking on Teentalk Expert Chat.

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